Two Minutes with Sammy J

By Pip Jarvis
30th Jul 2013

Sammy J is an award-winning musical comedian and a proud Melburnian, despite the terrible traffic. He's appeared at the Melbourne, Montreal and Edinburgh comedy festivals, and been nominated for an ARIA for his album "Skinny Man, Modern World".

Currently hosting the sketch comedy show 'Wednesday Night Fever' on ABC1, we took two with our fave funny guy and discovered his diminutive stature is matched with a MASSIVE… wit.

TUL: So, Sammy, how did you get into the giggle game?
SJ: A soothsayer approached me on my seventh birthday and predicted I would one day be a comedian. I laughed at him. But who's laughing now? Him, I assume. Or her. It was dark and I was frightened; the memory is hazy.

TUL: What would you be doing if you weren't a comedian?
SJ: Enjoying an emotionally secure, financially stable life.

TUL: What's the worst job you've ever had?
SJ: I worked for Fosseys in Mornington as a teenager. The job itself was fine, but I just wasn't cut out for retail. I began giving things away to customers who seemed nice at the checkout. That didn't really fit the whole capitalist model, on reflection.

TUL: What's the best part about your job?
SJ: The endless validation.

TUL: What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you on stage?
SJ: Getting heckled by a seven-year-old in Edinburgh. You can't reason with a seven-year-old, and he was impervious to my put downs, so I lost the battle and eventually had to have him escorted out by security.

TUL: Where is your favourite place to do a gig in Melbourne?
SJ: The Butterfly Club (formerly in South Melbourne, but now in the CBD).

TUL: What's the funniest thing about Melburnians?
SJ: Punt Road.

TUL: And the least funny?
SJ: Hoddle Street.
TUL: North side or south side?
SJ: As a proud Frankston boy, south side all the way.
TUL: Best way to spend $50 in Melbourne?
SJ: Throw it into the Yarra at Fairfield Boat House, then follow it down the river all the way to Southbank.

TUL: And the best way to spend $500 in Melbourne?
SJ: As above, but at Southbank fish it out and treat yourself to a fancy meal.

TUL: What would you request for your last meal on earth?
SJ: Omelette.
TUL: 3 places in Melbourne you couldn't live without?
SJ: My tram stop, my tram track, and the Myki customer service centre.

TUL: Favourite Melbourne coffee spot?
SJ: The 7-11 at Fed Square.  
TUL: Favourite Melbourne restaurant?
SJ: Time Out (next to the 7-11 at Fed Square).

TUL: Place for a drink?
SJ: Transport (after exiting the 7-11 at Fed Square, walk left past Time Out and it's straight ahead).

TUL: Latest Melbourne discovery?
SJ: Fed Square.

TUL: An old fave?
SJ: Eternal flame, hands down.

TUL: Best way to while away a lazy Sunday in Melbourne?
SJ: Pickpocketing tourists in the Botanical Gardens. They're sleepy and vulnerable.

 TUL: Biggest Indulgence?
SJ: Pickpocketing tourists in the Botanical Gardens, then burning their possessions in the eternal flame.

TUL: Fave city, other than Melbourne?
SJ: Adelaide in March.

TUL: My last holiday was . . .
SJ: Disastrous.

TUL: My next holiday will be . . .
SJ: Better planned and involve far less drug smuggling.  

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