Funny

21 Truths About Perth’s Winter

By Sarah Joanna Pope - 24 May 2018


You may think you can wear your thongs year round in Perth—but it’s about to get chilly! So cancel your Brazilian, stock up on red wine and get your Uggs out, because winter IS coming.

Here's 21 truths about Perth's winter.

  1. It’s an awkward kind of cold. Like, not cold enough for proper heating or quality coats. It’s a socks and sandals kind of cold.
  2. You might as well shut down Northbridge on the first cold weekend of winter. Ain’t nobody going out.
  3. Any power outages will most likely not be caused by storms, but by overuse of Netflix.
  4. It’s like movember... but for women’s legs.
  5. Footy scarves. Footy scarves everywhere.
  6. It’s when you discover if your landlord loved you enough to give your rental insulation. Probably not.
  7. There will be Game of Thrones memes. So many…
  8. You will enjoy one week of pure unadulterated bliss with your new flannelette sheets, before you ruin them in the wash.
  9. You will rediscover all the warm boozy drinks. Mulled wine is like a hug from the inside.
  10. So many Lancers doing fully sick drifts in puddles.
  11. There will be a mass exodus of Tinder and a surge in fluffy robe sales.
  12. Everyone will drive 30km/h during the first week of rain.
  13. It’s time to ditch the salads and commence the human fois gras project.
  14. The minimum temperature last night MATTERS. Wow—minus three in Jandakot!
  15. There will be a news story on someone in City Beach whose fence blew away. #wewillrebuild
  16. You can spot who is 18 in Northbridge by the bandage dress and lack of winter coat. Kids these days…
  17. “Perth has a mild winter” will be heard on loop.
  18. The only livable part of your house is the small arc of space in front of your heater.
  19. It’s the time to switch to brown booze and red wine. Yeehaw!
  20. All gyms will resemble an abandoned post apocalyptic landscape.
  21. You must say “good for the farmers” every time it rains. It’s the law.

Looking for more LOL's? Here's 28 Things You've Definitely Said If You Live In Perth!

Image credit: Louise Coghill

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