Okay, okay… I would probably be classified as a “foodie”. I personally hate the term as it’s all a bit wanky, and I cringe whenever anyone asks me if I am one, but I suppose maybe that’s what I am. Whether I like it or not.
Regardless of my aversion to the term, being regarded as a foodie makes me well aware of what makes us super annoying dining companions and humans in general. Here are 10 things we need to stop doing and saying (and yes, I am guilty of these too).
#1 Stop calling yourself a foodie
Seriously, stop. You sound like a wanker who takes themselves too seriously.
#2 Bigger does not mean better
So you’ve purchased an SLR, well done. But a good camera doth not a good photographer make… Especially when you have it set to auto the whole time. Plus, these huge SLRs are obnoxious and very distracting.
#3 Just eat it, already!
Yes, yes, your Instagram followers need to know what you just ate/are about to eat. I get it. But making your dining companions wait while you take a thousand photos from slightly different angles is kind of ruining the whole point of the meal. You’re there to enjoy the deliciousness, so put the phone down and eat, damn it!
#4 Ease up on the #hashtags
Having a tonne of hashtags in your Instagram posts just looks kind of desperate.
#5 All the carbs!
Like how so many fashion bloggers look like they’re always travelling, foodies always look like they’re smashing the world’s fattiest foods. Did you really eat three lunches today followed by a fairy floss ice cream and are still a regular sized human? Well, lucky you! But you’re making the rest of us without that kind of metabolism jelly (and not the kind you’ve probably injected into that donut you just ate).
#6 Stop using these words
Besides “foodies” (refer to point 1), please, please, please stop using the words mouth feel, nom, and ERMAGHERD. Even if it’s just for my own mental wellbeing.
#7 Chef dropping
Chefs may have been elevated to celebrity status, but stop acting like you’re mates with head chef at [insert new restaurant here], unless you’re actually mates with them. Even then, no one really cares.
#8 One of each, please
You insist on ordering everything on the menu, half of which your gluten-sugar-dairy intolerant buddies can’t consume, and then make everyone split the bill. That’s not commitment to the foodie cause, that’s just greedy.
#9 Playing “what’s that ingredient?”
Spending the majority of your meal trying to identify that obscure spice in your lobster bisque is annoying and boring. Let’s just say it’s shiso (it’s probably not) and move on.
#10 Compliments to the chef
If you’re the kind of person that insists on calling the chef out to your table to chat about the meal, stop it. They’re at work, they’re busy, and most of the time they probably don’t want to talk to you about that obscure spice in your lobster bisque (see previous point). Maybe just @ them when you inevitably post about the meal on Instagram and give them a thumbs up emoji. Or the fire emoji, because that emoji is the best.
Image credit: Lisa Brooke at BLACK by ezard