Funny

15 Signs You’re Stuck In A Food Rut

By Ashton Rigg - 03 Jun 2015

We’ve all been there – that time in your life when food becomes less about style and more about substance. 

You nod along vaguely when your friends discuss the Story Bridge pop-up. You've actually made your way through the stockpile of tinned tuna in your desk drawer. You think I Heart Brownies is still just a market stall.  

The struggle is real, but you will get through this. We’re in it together.

When Heinz spaghetti jaffles work their way into weekly rotation and the pimply kid at the KFC drive-through starts recognizing you, it’s time to seek professional help. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

If you’re suffering from one or a combination of the following ailments, we recommend a healthy dose of trawling through The Urban List’s Directory to reawaken your inner foodie. 

  1. Eating breakfast for dinner isn’t fun anymore. It’s just Tuesday.
  2. The weevils in your cupboard are in protest and haven't touched your generic-brand cornflakes.
  3. You watch the ‘The Wink’ episode of Seinfeld and don’t understand what’s so wrong with Jerry ordering ‘just a salad’.
  4. You’ve reverted to 1950s ideals and get legitimately excited about ‘Meatloaf Mondays’. 
  5. Adding an extra pizza topping is pretty much as adventurous as you get with take-out. At Dominoes. 
  6. There are no food emojis in your ‘recently used’ list. You’ve also never used the eggplant for its intended purpose. 
  7. You don’t understand why anyone would buy delicious, life-changing artisan hand-dipped doughnuts when you can just spend a dollar at Donut King. Just... no.
  8. You can’t remember the last time you went to brunch. You don’t even feel hunger pangs between breakfast and lunch anymore. You don’t feel much of anything, come to think of it.
  9. You’ve never tried a ‘degustation’. Or a meal that involves more than two courses and doesn't include 'cheesy toast'. 
  10. Your cafe loyalty cards are buried in your wallet, experiencing a slow and painful expiry. That cafe actually closed six months ago.
  11. You’ve recently uttered the words “Actually, 7-Eleven sandwiches aren’t really that bad.”
  12. Your bank balance is healthy; your pantry is not. There’s enough Mi goreng in there to see you survive a zombie apocalypse.
  13. People have started commenting on your sad desk lunch. The website becomes a source of inspiration.
  14. You go to the Eat Street Markets and only eat potato slinkies. That’s only half okay.
  15. You’ve worked your way through this list. Twice. You’re a cheapskate, but we salute you anyway.

Image credit: The Big Fat Noodle

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