Funny

48 Truths About The Gold Coast's Winter

By Brooke Darling - 01 Jun 2016

Here on the Gold Coast, we don’t realise how much of a non-event our winter is.

There’s always a certain few who insist on donning scarves, gloves, beanies, and a jacket when the mercury hits 21. But, sorry Gold Coasters, our winters just ain’t that bad!

In honour of summer’s autumn’s passing, we’ve decided to compile a list of a few truths about the Gold Coast’s “winter” that we’re guessing you can relate to.

1. We get legit excited about being able to sleep with a sheet covering us, and not requiring a damp cloth to wipe the sweat off during the night.

2. You get to pull your doona out of hibernation. For two weeks of the year.

3. But even then, you end up kicking it off  ‘coz it’s still kinda hot…

4. You get excited about #winterfashun and spend a month’s pay on a fab new coat—but you only get to wear it twice, and, when you do, you’re actually unbearably warm but you keep it on regardless because you really need to reduce the cost per wear…

5. Wearing jeans doesn’t come with that instant regret that jeans on a 30-degree day comes with.

6. You can still opt for thongs (sometimes with socks) for that dash to the shops.

7. Electric blankets on sale at Kmart seem like a great idea except when you get home and realise they just make your room feel like it’s summer again.

8. You get so excited for winter you buy a cute onesie only to never be able to wear it ‘cause it’s still hot AF under your doona.

9. You feel #sowintery when you drink mulled wine, even though the weather doesn’t really suit, but you make do anyway, ‘coz it makes for a really sweet new pic for Insta.

10. You wake up each morning hoping for a snow day to get you off work. Hahahaha #justkidding.

11. A trip to the Gold Coast Hinterland is on the cards, because how else will you experience winter?

12. It’s totally okay to wear activewear for the duration of winter—it’s so cold you simply must wear your full length leggings all day, everyday.

13. Dressing for an evening out on the town totally screws you. Hence why the majority of the Gold Coast goes into hibernation.

14. We mean really, how many looks can you create with skinny jeans and a leather jacket?

15. A warm meat pie from one of the best bakeries on the Gold Coast becomes an everyday essential.

16. Your morning greeting is replaced with “OMG it’s SOOO cold today!”

17. You begin to run out of winter clothing options around the 14th of June.

18. Regret over-cutting your hair in summer because “It’s just too hot with all this hair”.

19. By July, you’re over winter because your skin is pale, dry, and just needs some sun.

20. You say “I swear winter was way colder last year” at least four times.

21. An adorable coat is considered an essential for your already fluffy and thus warm dog.

22. It’s like Movember. For women’s legs.

23. Getting out of bed is SO hard you guys, so hard.

24. When your second cousin in Lorne says “STFU, you guys really have nothing to complain about with your winter, try living here!” You throw your hands up and retort, “It’s a relative cold guys, and BTW, it’s not a competition”.

25. It’s perfectly normal to see a guy cruising through Nobbys of a morning with a woolly beanie on, but sans t-shirt. #gottakeepitgoldcoast

26. Southerners rocking shorts and singlets cause you great concern: “Don’t they know it’s winter?” you say through chattering teeth on a 22-degree day.

27. You smile proudly at the weather forecast when the mercury sits below 20 as you picture your big woolly jumper-focused outfit for the next day.

28. Your pride is hurt when you see that the weather in Tasmania is minus 50 with snow.

29. But, you know that even though we’re still in double digits, our winter is just as cold when you factor in wind chill…

30. Heading out for Sunday breakfast now includes a cardie (and potentially a scarf).

31. You feel so adult when you head to markets early and fetch some fresh vegies to whip up an epic winter soup.

32. You curse former you for opting to live somewhere without a fire place—what were you thinking?

33. Novelty slippers feel like a good idea and a sound investment.

34. Likewise with Ugg boots. (Until spring, when they are most definitely not welcome in public!)

35. The long-haired folk among us flaunt their locks because hair is no longer a sweat-inducing blanket.

36. Styling your hair actually seems doable because having hot air blowing in your face is welcome on a winter morning.

37. You suddenly become the world’s number one hot chocolate fan.

38. You wonder if that Maroons jersey comes in long sleeves…

39. You consider investing in gloves that work with smart phone screens.

40. You begin to count down to summer because, after all, winter isn’t really our thing…

41. You go through at least eight tubes of Paw Paw Ointment to soothe your winter-chapped lips.

42. Being able to justify purchasing each of the Aesop body moisturisers because your QLD skin just can’t handle winter.

43. Having to forgo matte lipstick for those three months because it just looks shit on chapped lips.

44. Buying upwards of 10 pairs of jeans for winter that you spend the rest of the year trying to justify.

45. More than one coffee a day becomes a must, because it’s so cold you just need another coffee from the best cafes on the Gold Coast.

46. The cool room at the bottle-o stops being a reprise from the heat, and becomes a super-fast dash that’ll have you back into heating in under two minutes.

47. When September rolls around, you have 25 pairs of stockings with multiple ladders that now have no other home than in the bin.

48. You’re actually thankful that our winters kind of rock, because let’s be real—who would rather be in Melbourne? Not us.

Looking for more things to do on the Gold Coast? Check out 25 things to do on the Gold Coast under $25.

 

Photo Credit: Game of Thrones

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