We’ve all heard about the headache a cocktail order gives the bartender. But sometimes we just want the most extravagantly decorated exotic bubbly drink dripping with figurines, fresh garnishes and served inside a tropical fruit—is that so much to ask?
And while some nights only require a whiskey and dry, house wine or schooner of XXXX Gold, others are begging for blueberries, novelty glasses and handfuls of mint. You know, the whole shebang. So, when you think about it, for every schooie you’ve ordered instead of a cocktail, you’ve saved the bartender’s aching skull, and now it’s time to make up for lost time.
As they say in the bartending world, ‘me casa su cocktail,’ which roughly translates to ‘my home is a cocktail, I know what I’m doing and I want to do it for you.’ So, here you have it, a list of the best places to go for the most outrageous cocktails on the Gold Coast.
Aloha Bar & Dining
Aloha Bar & Dining has got it going on. True to their Hawaiian style, these guys serve meals in coconuts, tasty poke bowls and ramen, as well as a ridiculous selection of icy cold cocktails. Filling pineapples to the brim with delicious refreshments, watermelons embellished with a whole lotta stuff like monkeys, pirate flags, mint, garnishes as well as your drank, you’re gonna need an extra long curly straw to share this one with your guys and gals. Or heck, have the whole thing to yourself!
Amidst their ravishing, enchanting and perplexing cocktail list, you’ll find some of the most outrageous cocktails on the Gold Coast at Steampunk. Treats like the Sticky Riddle’s vanilla Galliano, apple, fireball, caramel, cinnamon and smoke combo throw a serious curveball in the mix. We mean, who knew that apple and caramel were lifelong soul mates? Get amongst other goodies like the lychee, pineapple and Absinthe Dancing Fairy creation or a Makers Mark, orange, bacon and maple salty delight. We can’t even deal right now.
Lychee Cosmo anyone? Comuna Cantina are serious about their gourmet Latin American treats, drool-worthy taco sandwiches and seriously know the way to all of our hearts. Get your booty shaking with their Jenny From The Block-inspired J Lo bevvie with its gin, elderflower and pomegranate mix or Chambord-laced berry cocktails that are eyebrow-raisingly good. While you’re getting crazy, ramp up your espresso martini with Tim Tams, Nutella or Mint Slices. Wait, what? YAS. Choc coffee heaven, come at us.
House Of Brews
You’ll be floating well and truly above the clouds with House Of Brews tangy blend of grape Hubba Bubba-infused vodka, raspberry, lime and passionfruit, all topped with a giant chunk of fairy floss. Or, try HOB’s famous Purple Haze, which won the gong for best cocktail on the Gold Coast in 2016; now THAT’S an award ceremony we want to be a part of. Poured from a cheeky glass, the Purple Haze comes in a fog of dry ice and combines gin, elderflower, almond syrup, rhubarb bitters and so much more. Their shared cocktail menu is pretty pimping too. The Trump fashions a wall between a long island iced tea and a margarita, while their Jungle Juice comes served in a skull, decorated with mint leaves and filled with jelly. Seriously, we cannot get through this outrageous list of cocktails on our own, you’ll need to give us a hand by heading in and checking it out for yourself.
The Island Rooftop
The Island has always been a relic on the Surfers Paradise strip, but have you visited their rooftop? Watch the sun go down with a cocktail in hand and giggle all the way to your next Blueberry Ireland Sour. Whiskey, blueberry jam, lemon juice and that frothy topping we know you all love, or opt for a straight up Pash—vodka, lime and passionfruit. Sure to quench your thirst, every time.
The Cambus Wallace
Sail your vessel into The Cambus Wallace, because we all know what got those sailors through the rough seas on those long and lonely nights. The refreshing Maiden Voyage #2 combines a tantalising concoction of pineapple, spiced rum, coconut rum, white run, lime and bitters. While you’re at it, yoho your way to a sophisticated San Fran classic, the Pisco Punch. Chamomile tea syrup, lemon, lime, rose water and Pisco to add a zing to your night cap. Perhaps you’re more of an adventurer? Then the Banana Triangle should do the trick; think: banana-infused rum, cream, honey and nutmeg. Shiver me timbers, this swill is sure to whet ye whistle… Arrrr!
The Loose Moose
We love Broady’s The Loose Moose for their wings, OTT burgers and, of course, their extravagant cocktail menu. Sink a Bruce Martini with its peach-infused bourbon, vanilla, lemon peach and champagne on the side, because you’re classy like that. Or, keep things Strictly Professional with a coconut tequila, coffee liqueur, espresso and coconut foam float. Get loose at the moose and thank us later.
Worked your way through the most OTT cocktails on the Gold Coast? You’re gonna want to sweat out all that alcohol tomorrow. These pretty walks should do the trick.
Image credit: Hayley Williamson for The Urban List