26 Things Gold Coasters Need To Explain To Out Of Towners

By Kaitlyn Smith
3rd Aug 2017

things to do on the gold coast

Believe it or not, the times up north in our beloved Sunny State have evolved drastically and, most definitely, for the better. No longer are we considered the larrikin state of Oz. We’ve officially stepped up as the front running holiday destination choice, offering one helluva booming social scene and some damn good tucker in prime locations. 

While we’re at it, here are a few more things we’d like out of towners to learn… 

  1. Surfers Paradise isn’t where we all actually like to spend our time, if anything the further away, the better.
  2. Believe it or not, winter does bring with it cold weather. We’re aware we may not be in White Walker territory but still, that light breeze got us shivering more than Jack from Titanic.
  3. Becoming a Meter Maid isn’t the illustrious career we all strive for. 
  4. Going out to eat more than you actually cook at home is the daily norm. Embrace it and love it. 
  5. On any given weekday, your fave cafe will be as busy as a Saturday or Sunday.
  6. Working a full time, five-day-a-week job isn’t really required here. Go hang with ya mates instead.
  7. Schoolies isn’t actually that annoying if you don’t live anywhere near the epicentre of hell. 
  8. Taking an Uber to Burleigh Hill for a Sunday sunset is worth every penny when you realise your sanity is spared the agony of battling for a park. 
  9. Within the stretch of a 30-minute drive, you’ve already travelled through three different geographic stereotypes. We’re lookin’ at you Cooly, Broady and Southport.
  10. Yes, we all love outdoor activity and the ocean. It doesn’t mean every person is near coordinated enough to be good though. 
  11. If you’d all stick with your ample accommodation up the northern end, our southern end wouldn’t have its afternoon sunbaking hours ruined by new hotels. 
  12. There’s about -0.0% chance of finding one Gold Coaster whose Instagram doesn’t feature an epic sunset beach stroll or acai bowl.
  13. That Burleigh Hill on a Sunday arvo is a mandatory obligation where we all congregate to appreciate our little piece of paradise, before going home to cry ourselves to sleep because, well, Monday. 
  14. DO. NOT. GO. To Broadbeach’s beach during sunset unless you’re fully prepped/dressed to feature in at least 3,000-tourist photo shoots. 
  15. We love out of towners! Except when they take all our parking spaces, make our daily commutes unnecessarily longer and leave us with no seats at Elk Espresso.  
  16. Driving any distance further than 15 minutes away is considered a road trip. Pack wisely. 
  17. If you don’t buy your fresh produce from the markets, you’re considered a pariah among the Gold Coast general public.
  18. We love a good food bargain (note #4) so you’ll never be short of dining out options, while sticking to your budget. 
  19. If you’re in town long enough, your new favourite bar is probably going to change by the end of next week. 
  20. We’ve got a helluva lot more to offer than just stunning beaches. Our activities list is booming and the hinterland is an equally cool place to hang. 
  21. Taking the back roads is sooo much more time savvy. Avoid all major roads. Heck, go off road if you have to. 
  22. Always pack shorts when arriving at the airport. It may be pelting down rain, but chances are it’ll still be at least 10 degrees warmer than wherever you’ve just travelled from. 
  23. Staying in Surfers or Broadbeach? Hit the beach early, or prepare to hustle for the last remaining slithers of sunlight come 2pm. 
  24. You’re borderline insane if you willingly choose to head to a theme park during school holidays.
  25. If you’re actually seeking to leave Gods Land (unsure why, though), you’re never short for daytrip options should you decide to drive either north or south.
  26. You’ve officially crossed over to no man’s land once you turn right at Twin Towns into Tweed. We can no longer save you. 

Looking for another laugh? Here are 43 things that are so Gold Coast it hurts

Image credit: Brooke Darling for The Urban List 

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