Being an adult can be pretty exhausting. Sure, there’s the fun stuff, like alcohol, sex, coffee and not needing to watch Home & Away to be considered cool by your friends. But then there’s the legitimately boring, soul-draining stuff like taking the bins out, paying bills, doing laundry and recognising that the silent treatment is not an acceptable breakup technique.
Therefore it makes sense to take a break from adult-ing every once in a while to avoid getting burnt out. You know what they say – everything in moderation, including maturity. We’ve rounded up the best activities in Melbourne to help you rediscover the child within and temporarily forget about tax returns, car trouble and health insurance.
Extreme Trampolining at Bounce Inc.
Bounce is a massive indoor trampolining venue with giant airbags to jump into, slamdunk arenas, dodgeball courts and more than 100 interconnected trampolines. Head to Essendon, Glen Iris or Blackburn North to get airborne.
Tree Surfing at Enchanted Adventure Garden
Tackle trees, bridges, walls, nets and swings from a 20m high zip-line at Enchanted Adventure Garden. The two-hour Grand course involves five different levels of challenges as well as a giant Tarzan swing and rock climbing wall. Other highlights include tube slides, hedge mazes, 3D tunnels and a lolly shop.
Mini Golf-O-Rama at Howler
Can we get a ‘hells yeah’? The good folk at Howler have reinstalled their mini golf course in the band room until 6th Jan 2016, and it’s got more windmills, ramps, loops and obstacles than before. Pick up your putter and make like Tiger Woods (but without all the shagging).
Escapism at Strike Bowling
Melbourne is blessed with not one but six escape rooms – dark places where the clock is ticking, the creep-out factor is high and you have to outsmart a puzzle-master. We like the one at Strike Bowling – there are three different escape experiences to choose from, and you’ll encounter hidden doors, red herrings and brain-bending clues.
Boating at Studley Park Boathouse
Like Lonely Island, you too can be on a boat, motherf**ker – this restored Edwardian boathouse will let you hire one every day of the year except Christmas. There’s a kiosk, café and restaurant nearby, and you can also hire canoes and kayaks to test your muscle-power.
‘This Annoying Life’ at Readings Books
Succumb to the adult colouring-in craze with this gem of a book by ‘Overheard’ artist Oslo Davis. It’s like the Turducken of colouring-in and avoiding adult life – it pokes fun at the ‘mindfulness’ trend with scenes of angst and stress AND it encourages you to pick up your coloured pencils and scribble away until you can face reality again.
Queer Rave Knitting at The Docks
Relive your raver youth at ‘The Docks’, an exhibition that delves into the ‘contemporary cultural activities’ (i.e. underground raves and dance parties) that made Melbourne a techno capital in the 90s. Until 28 Feb 2016, you can enjoy a bunch of free events taking place including a workshop where you can learn to create your own electronic beats and acid house sounds, and a queer rave knitting circle where you can stitch and strobe to your heart’s content.
The Big HOO-HAA! at The Butterfly Club
Do you remember how when you were little you used to read joke books and play pranks? Where did all the ‘funny’ go in your life? Stock up on new material at Melbourne’s longest-running weekly improv show where two teams provide unscripted lols every Friday.
Brickvention at Royal Exhibition Building
Rediscover your love of LEGO at Brickvention from 16-17th Jan 2016. Marvel at grand constructions of pirate ships, castles, fantasy buildings, vehicles and spacecrafts, and meet other adult fangirls and fanboys. If you feel inspired to create something epic afterwards, there’ll be loads of LEGO sets and merchandise for sale.
Summer Sessions at Slide Melbourne
Get slippery on the 400m long, three-lane wide waterslide that’s taken over Landsdowne Street at their summer session on 7th Feb 2016. Yep, that’s a two months away but you should book tickets now if you want to make like Paul Simon and start slip-sliding away.
Or... Just Hire a Ball Pit
So that no one gets in the way of your sweet, sweet non-adulting. It won't be weird at all when the delivery guy asks where the kids are.
Need more ways to ignore adult-ing this Christmas? Check out how to do Glitter Roots For The Party Season!
Image credit: Bianca O'Neill