Our Brisbane counterparts recently wrote a list of reasons why Brisbane is better than anywhere else. Bless their cotton socks.
As much as we love our Brissy crew and their adorable attempts at style and food culture, when it comes to doing things better, we all know Melbourne has the competition beat.
So, after much conferring in the Melbourne office, some heated debate, and a couple of thrown shoes, we've narrowed it down to the top 19.
Here are the 19 things that Melbourne does better than anywhere else.
1. World's Most Liveable City, 2014? 'Nuff said.
2. Trams. Oh sure, we gripe about them, but talk about taking them off us and we'll go all Tiger Mother on your ass.
3. The fashion. In Melbourne, a thong is footwear, not underwear, and we can accessorise with a scarf like nobody's business.
4. We singlehandedly made laneways a thing.*
5. Beards! They're everywhere, and they're glorious.
6. Errr, coffee? Which sometimes gets caught in aforementioned beards. Hey, you can't win 'em all!
7. Heading to the local park for a BBQ is more fun because you can DRINK IN PUBLIC! And drunk frisbee rocks.
8. There is a legit public holiday to watch horses run around and get smashed on fizz.
9. We have actual seasons, sometimes all in one day (and there's a song about it).
10. The MCG. We're ruined for watching sport anywhere else.
11. You can travel the world without leaving the city. Want Italian? Lygon St. Middle Eastern? Sydney Rd. Chinese? CBD. We are so worldly, dahhling.
12. Souvlaki, baby.
13. World-class festivals at our fingertips.
14. We do new openings in style. Baz Luhrmann for Emporium? No biggie.
15. Outdoor cinemas. Whether it's on a rooftop, in the gardens, by the water… We go ape for alfresco film action.
16. The best waitstaff in the world. It's true.
17. Our weekends have sooo much potential. Red Hill, Great Ocean Road, Yarra Valley, skiing, that legally drinking in public thing….
18. Food, glorious food.
19. Queuing — from brekkie at Top Paddock to dinner at Chin Chin — if we don't have to wait outside in the freezing cold for an hour plus, it must not be worth it.
* Only true if you don't count Europe
Image Credit: Pinterest