Funny

25 More Signs You Have Your Life Together

By Sophia McMeekin - 07 Sep 2017

32 Signs You Actually Have Your Life Together

As you grow older you realise the transient high brought on by having approximately $50 to your name and absolutely no responsibility, is nothing compared to the feeling of god-like superiority when you manage to pay your bills on time. This is one of the many small ways to tell that you, my friend, have your shit together.

Here are 25 more signs you are one of those people 18-year old you would have hated. Look at you go. 

  1. You’ve had a pedicure in the last six months i.e. the bottoms of your feet aren’t hardened and brown like you’ve recently walked across the continent barefoot.
  2. You know what financial concepts like fixed-rate mortgages or negative gearing mean, or at least you’ve learnt to nod along convincingly when they come up in conversation.
  3. When out on the town, you’re secretly counting how many eps of Survivor you can watch before you fall asleep if you leave in the next half an hour.
  4. You get face serum.
  5. You’re no longer on your parent’s Medicare card.
  6. You have accepted that good cheese will cost you.
  7. You don’t stand in front of ATMs with your fingers crossed, covered in a panic-induced glaze of sweat praying money will come out anymore.
  8. You have a signature dish and it doesn’t involve any Old El Paso products.
  9. You don’t buy your skincare at the supermarket anymore.
  10. You use coffee and Panadol to cure your hangovers rather than an XXL Slurpee and Adam Sandler movies.
  11. You’ve downloaded a friendly looking budgeting app and have thought about using it like three whole times.
  12. You have less than ten unopened voicemails.
  13. You haven’t eaten a 7 Eleven pie for quite some time. 
  14. When choosing accommodation on holiday you pick the place as far away from the nightlife strip as possible.
  15. Further to this, you own a set of earplugs for ‘emergencies’.
  16. You have a secret Pinterest board devoted to your dream living room/bath/home office set up.
  17. You believe a statement rug is a worthwhile investment.
  18. You have enough money to go the full 12 month car rego’ fee. La di dah.
  19. You will not wait in line for breakfast. You will wait in line at the bank.
  20. You not only own an iron, but feel confident and assured using its many settings. 
  21. You probably also spritz your clothes with that nice smelling ironing aid stuff, though its exact purpose still evades you and everyone else.
  22. Double ply toilet paper is your jam.
  23. Plants in your care are actually green and don’t seem like they’re scared of you.
  24. You have watched enough documentaries about sommeliers to fake your way through some heavy wine chat. 
  25. You say sensible things like ‘if we leave early we can beat the traffic!’ and ‘no more for me, I’ve got yoga in the morning.’

This isn’t the first time we’ve ruminated on the many joys of the steady march towards death growing up. Here are 32 Signs You’ve Got Your Life Together. 

Design credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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