Funny

30 Things That Are So Southside

By Sophie Colvin - 17 Dec 2015


brighton_beach_boxes

Ohhhh Southsiders, how we love you and your matching ways. Your squad goals are strong, your patience for a brunch table knows no bounds, and we find your reluctance to venture North a bit cute. We’re an observant bunch, so we have made a (tounge-in-cheek) list of all your most prominent quirks. 

Here are 30 things that are just soooooo Southside.

  1. Feeling the need to tell people when you venture northside.
  2. Visiting Top Paddock and considering that as far north as you need to go.
  3. Black, straight strap Birkenstocks.
  4. Eating exclusively on Chapel Street.
  5. Complaining about the bay beaches, but not venturing beyond Briiiighton.
  6. Being able to count on one hand the number of times you've caught a tram in the past twelve months.
  7. Hanoi Hannah is the most legit Vietnamese you've ever eaten.
  8. Not moving out of home, because why the hell would you when your parents have a 7 bedroom place in Malvern.
  9. Wearing half up - half down hair to brunch on Sundays.
  10. Dressing identically to all your friends.
  11. Fonda is your go-to for group catch ups.
  12. 57% of your pay cheque goes to Green With Envy.
  13. Laneway is your token 'hipster' event of the year.
  14. Portsea Polo, Polo in the City, Centre Court at the Tennis are all locked in months in advance.
  15. You've asked 'where did you go to school?' in the first 2 mins of conversation after meeting someone.
  16. Rebecca Judd is your god.
  17. You're not certain where Northcote is. You presume it's a long way north because of its name.
  18. You feel 'cultured' when you do your groceries at a market.
  19. The Brighton beach boxes are at the top of your list of things to show out of towners.
  20. Your first (underage) night out was spent at Seven.
  21. You've owned a VW Golf at some point in your life.
  22. Lining up for 2 hours for brunch on Saturday is totally fine.
  23. You're 27 and your parents still take you on family holidays to Europe.
  24. It's totally normal do the majority of your groceries at Thomas Dux.
  25. You try and impress all your dates with your legit street cred by taking them to Jungle Boy.
  26. Your grandparents have a beach house in Portsea... that you're nervous your cousin will inherit.
  27. Rosé is your go-to wine order.
  28. A lap of the tan is a weekend ritual. This one time, you even ran up Anderson Street.
  29. You’re having a long Christmas lunch with friends this weekend, where there’ll be grain salads and expensive bon-bons. 
  30. You've never been snapped for an Instagram photo without your patented head tilt.

Now it's time for a laugh at the Northside... So here are 28 Things That Are So Northside!

Photo credit: @apmtravel

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