There’s one thing my 28 years on this planet have taught me: ‘Adulting’ is hard. Sure, you might want to eat cupcakes for dinner and ride a micro-scooter to work and glue feathers to your forehead and generally make-believe that you’re 3 years old forever, but sooner or later, adult life will require you to pull your (matching) socks up and take responsibility for yourself.
If you have recently found yourself at this momentous crossroads of life, fear not, for I too have been met with its perils and, against all odds, I’ve survived. So without further ado, here’s The Urban List Guide To Adulting, as told by one Melbourne-based writer who’s trying her darndest to act like a grown-up.
#1: Buy A Decent Bed
Poorly constructed Ikea frames are only fun for so long. Once you move out of uni accommodation, you should DEFINITELY ditch that dodgy bedframe and pick up both a frame and mattress that are designed to last more than three semesters. Your spine will thank you, and so will your potential romantic partner who isn’t scuppered when the slats dislodge mid-coitus. While there are heaps of furniture stores in Melbourne who keep a solid frame, we’d recommend Ecosa for the mattress. May your nights be forever spent on top-quality bedding.
#2: Eat With A Set Of Matching Cutlery
Okay, so we’re not quite up to matching plates yet (we’re bound to smash one getting it out of the box…) but cutlery is pretty much indestructible and is therefore worthy of the investment. Melbourne design shops Top3 By Design and Make Designed Objects are safe bets for something stylish and hardwearing, and if you feel like really splashing out, pick up some Japanese steel tableware from Cibi in Collingwood.
#3: Master A Signature Dish
No, pasta, pesto and tuna is not a signature dish. Think about where you like eating out, find out what goes into your favourite dish, consult the glorious Google (or buy a decent cookbook: see #7) to find a reputable recipe, and then get practicing.
#4: Own A Nice Pen
Recently, I’ve discovered that all of my mates judge others not by their shoes, or their hair, or their choice of cocktail, but by a) whether they carry a pen on them, and b) what sort of pen it is. In today’s smartphone-wielding age, people that carry pens have a certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ about them, as if they’ll write you a Poet Laureate-worthy sonnet, right there and then. Upgrade that half-chewed Bic to something more respectable that’s AT LEAST a rollerball.
FYI, this Lister writes in a matt black Lamy fountain nib, which is basically the note-taking equivalent of a Mercedes SL-class coupe (German engineering, classic styling, ultra-smooth shifting). Pen game points: 1,000,000.
#5: Wear Shoes That Aren’t Converse More Than Twice A Week
Chuck Taylors are great, there’s no denying it, but laying down some boss plans in that Monday morning meeting isn’t half as impressive when your feet are encased in cotton sacks that have absorbed a mixture of spilt beer and strangers' body odours from that gig you went to on Saturday night. I’m not asking you to teeter around in Christian Louboutins all week (although I hear that’s fun too), but you should at least invest in something that polishes up well when it’s needed.
Zomp, Wootten, Lost In Seasons and even Gorman (for you ladies who like to make-believe that you’re still fairy princesses who get by on on rainbow beams and glitter crafting) are solid Melbourne shoe hot-spots.
#6: Invest In A Sound-System
I’m not even insisting on a turntable, you self-praising vinyl-fetishising hipsters! All you need is a decent amp and set of speakers that you can plug your phone into. If you love throwing a house party, a Sonos system is a good bet—it syncs with Spotify, so anyone can add to your evening’s playlist. Remember: an iPhone in a glass is not a permanent audio solution.
#7: Try Vacuuming!
You guys, vacuuming is the BEST excuse to crank up your favourite tunes and dance around the house in your trackies while also achieving adult goals. To make the task all the more enjoyable, nab one that you actually like and that preferably didn’t come from hard rubbish. If you still can’t quite adult when it comes to household chores, get a Henry Hoover. Because anything with a face on it has the potential to be hilarious.
#8: Have Insurance Of Some Kind
It might be for your phone, your house contents, or your pet, but insurance is one of those things that screams, ‘I am an adult who has their shit together’. Hint: start with your phone and work your way up as needed.
#9: Own Books. And Maybe Read Them.
Books are beautiful for sure, but what’s even more beautiful is that moment where someone picks one up off your meticulously ordered bookshelf and asks, “So, what’s it like?” and you absolutely floor them with a passionate introduction to their new favourite author. Not sure where to start? Head to any of our Fave 5 Melbourne Bookshops and ask for some literary advice to get you started.
#10: Attempt to understand politics
…And if you don’t understand, uttering, “I just don’t understand,” with a sombre shake of the head is the perfect way to come across like you do, even when you don’t know your Tonys from your Turnbulls.
#11: Remember To #YOLO Every So Often Because, Really, WGAF?
Even if you do manage to master Adulting 99% of the time, it’s important to let loose that 1% (…or more) because, really, life is short and acting like a big kid is fun. Just lay off the lollies for breakfast, yeah? Cavities never looked good on anyone.
Email Clare with our own Adulting 101 suggestions here.
Image credit: The Inbetweeners