Funny

Overheard In Melbourne This Week

By Bianca O'Neill - 18 Jan 2016

gossip girl

Ah Melbourne: An entire city of people planning to start a food truck one day, and complaining about the price of cold drip the next - but always hating the weather, whether it's hot or cold. It really doesn't matter in the end, it'll change in an hour or so anyway.

Here in the TUL office we are privy to some interesting and varied discussions, so we thought it was time to bring you the best of your city - via overheard fragments of conversations on the #86. Or something.

Onward!

Important foodie discussions:

Girl 1: Someone should open a place where you can eat and dance at the same time. Like with chicken wings.
Girl 2: You can’t dance with wings?
Girl 1: (Adamantly) WINGS ARE FINE TO DANCE WITH.

Girl 1: I'm going to start a food truck called [name retracted].
Girl 2: Wasn't that entire idea in the presentation that girl just gave you?
Girl 1: Yeah, but her branding was shit. I feel I could take her.

Bowie and Alan Rickman, RIP:

Guy: Why aren’t there more Alan Rickman audio books?

Girl 1: Maybe Alan Rickman and Bowie planned to bow out together.
Girl 2: Yeah, I’m not sure they planned the cancer though?

That time the polo happened:

Guy: How was the polo?
Girl: Full of Zimmerman playsuits.

Girl: I'm bored, let's leave.
Guy: But I haven't seen any horses? Or a game?
Girl: There's a game?!

PR: I tried to invite [a blogger] but they said they wouldn't attend unless I paid them.
Girl: They need *someone* to pay for all those followers they bought.

Girl 1: I got sent tickets to So Frenchy So Chic, but I didn't go.
Girl 2: Why?
Girl 1: I had an overdose of southside white girl at the Polo already.

Some other random shit:

Girl 1: What is Beyonce yoga, exactly?
Girl 2: It's just yoga with twerking.

Girl: Karl Largerfeld's cat just liked my freakshake post. Peak Instagram.

Girl 1: LOL at this passage in Dracula where it goes on about his eyebrows for like two paragraphs.
Girl 2: Even Stoker knew it was important to have your eyebrows on fleek.

Want more Melbourne LOLs? Here are 30 things that are so Southside.

Photo credit: YouTube

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