In breaking news, it’s easier than ever to turn your useless and not tasty money into delicious hot chips.
After the commotion that was the Lord Of The Fries announcement (#breaktheinternet) last week, we have more AWESOME fries news!
Yes, you heard right. Because hot chip vending machines, mans most significant feat since the invention of the Snuggy, are making their way to P-town.
Perth is set to have eight of these bad boys popping up around town by June, so here are 22 reasons why you need a hot chip vending machine in your life…
- It will round off the night nicely after using the brand spanking new pop-up urinals around town.
- Your boyfriend, Chip, left you.
- Your pockets are full of tomato sauce and/or gravy.
- Because you’re watching the girls on The Bachelor begin to single one girl out for a good old fashioned verbal beating. #shessofake #gethergether
- You’re celebrating your ten-year anniversary… on Tinder.
- You accidentally drank too much vinegar. You need to soak it up with life saving hot chips.
- You are drunk. Obvi.
- You may, at some, stage need to line up for something—and do you really want to be in that line without hot chips?
- Because the burrito dispenser is still in the testing phase.
- A gang of seagulls has you at knifepoint.
- You tried to go paleo and ended up murdering someone.
- You’re Irish or Polish.
- You’re human.
- It’s so much healthier than anything else you can purchase on the street. Bye bye crack habit.
- You love chips so much that you want to be the shape of a potato.
- You need a good reason to go for a walk. #findthirty
- You thought about donating some of your time to helping others and that one moment of potential altruism was enough to reward yourself with hot chips.
- Because no one loves you.
- That homeless guy doesn’t want your crappy sandwich. He wants hot chips.
- Loud, obnoxious children—one hot chip will rule them all.
- More excuse for expertly deployed potato puns, which is apeeling. #potatasgonnapotate
- Because we need to cull Perth’s potato population. And it’s this, or cane toads.
You still want chips from an actual restaurant? Lucky for you there are plenty of chips being served up with Perth's Best Dinner Deals.
Image credit: Nancy Hanna