Funny

25 Things Only People From Freo Understand

By Kirsty Petrides - 11 Jun 2017

Freo Social Hall, events perth


Fremantle, the cultural hub of our fair city (yep, we said it.) Despite the fact that this port town is full of bars, cafes, restaurants and entertainment, the folks who call this harbour city home often cop some flack. Usually in the form of people assuming that they are barefoot, dreadlocked, vegetarian hippies (thanks, John Butler), or unemployed, violent bogans (cheers heaps Sam Newman for all those Street Talk segments. You really captured the essence of our community in those two and half minutes.)

But for those who truly know Fremantle, we know that’s not the case, and that everyone who rags on our rad suburb is just jealous of our good coffee, sweet wine bars and the fact that we’re #7 on Lonely Planet’s list of cities to visit (taste that, northies.)

Here are 25 things you know to be true if you hail from Freo.

  1. You deal with the assumption that because you live in Freo, you’re a hemp-wearing, juice-cleansing, gluten-intolerant hippie. Nope, you’re just someone who wants to live near ocean and cafes. Go figure.
  2. You know how to replace a bike chain. Or just any type of bicycle maintenance really.
  3. You try to branch and out and try new places for a weekend brunch, but inevitably end up at Ootong and Lincoln every single time.
  4. Due to the fact that the Freo train line goes through the western ‘burbs (and those people most definitely do not catch public transport) your train ride to work is comfortable, spacious and generally delightful.
  5. Getting a bite to eat on a Saturday night inevitably turns into 2am espresso martinis at Benny’s.
  6. You don’t buy supermarket peanut butter. You recycle a jar from home and make your own organic version at Manna Wholefoods.
  7. You know all the lyrics to Bryan Adams ‘Summer of 69’ purely from all the time upstairs at Metros.
  8. There is no other suburb in Perth that is both close to the beach AND is an entertainment hub brimming with bars, restaurants, cafes and events. Think about it—no other suburb ticks both those boxes. Everywhere else you are forced to choose between the two.
  9. You know you’ve definitely been inside The Clink, because you’ve woken up with their stamp on your wrist on several occasions, but you don’t actually have any recollection of ever being inside the venue.
  10. You have seen some of the most entertaining displays of human emotion at Hungry Jack’s Fremantle in the wee hours of a Sunday morning.
  11. You go to Monument Hill to watch the sunset and wonder why you don’t go there more often.
  12. You feel like you should invite the busker from the Sail & Anchor to Christmas dinner, because you see him more than you see your family.
  13. You have to deal with the confusion on people’s faces when they discover that you live in Fremantle, but you don’t vote for The Greens.
  14. You could walk to Little Creatures, order a beer and sit yourself down at a table with your eyes closed.
  15. People lower their voice when they talk about urban development around you, because they assume you are against economic growth and job creation.
  16. You become a vegetarian for a few days every time you get stuck behind a livestock truck on Leach Highway.
  17. It doesn’t feel like Sunday if you don’t go to the Left Bank at least once.
  18. When you’re low on motivation at the office, you go for a walk down George Street in east Freo to remind yourself of what hard work and money can buy you.
  19. Every time you drive past those rainbow shipping containers, you consider a career in local government because you could think of much better ways to spend $145,000.
  20. You’re so accustomed to the dirt cheap fresh produce deals at Freo Markets, you go in shock when faced with regular supermarket prices. ‘What do you mean I can’t buy these seven bags of vegetables for $10, Woolworths?!’
  21. You hate Perth Freight Link.
  22. There was a stage in your life when the people at Nick’s Kebabs knew you by name.
  23. You spend your Sunday arvos lapping up all the free music at Freo Arts Centre.
  24. Choosing what beach to frequent on a hot day is like being a kid in a candy store. Leighton? Port? South Beach? God dammit, we got it good.
  25. You know all the cycling rules. Two a breast—legal. Three a breast—not legal. Leave a metre for courtesy. 

Think you know everything about Freo? Here are the hidden cafes in Fremantle you need find now.

Image credit: Elle Borgward

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