Funny

20 Thoughts We Have About Australia’s First Licensed Beach Bar!

By Sarah Joanna Pope - 01 Dec 2016


Getting your license is an important milestone in life—especially if you are Bathers Beach House and especially if that license is a bar license. A delicious, margarita flavoured, bar license.

Yas—Perth finally has a beach bar to call its very own and we’re pretty sure we know what this means for the thirsty locals…

  1. Tinnie and tan time!
  2. No one in Perth will actually own any clothes that aren’t beachwear, activewear or hi-vis. The prophecy was right.
  3. You finally have the perfect outlet for your sparkly thong collection. They all laughed at you when you bought bulk diamonte sandals but WHO IS LAUGHING NOW.
  4. Trip to the zoo is cancelled. The family will be spending pretty much all of the school holidays at ‘the beach’.
  5. …which means the kids will need to learn how to navigate the waves on their own—mummy is ‘busy’.
  6. Sunset and spritz
  7. Wine and waves
  8. Surf and sangria
  9. People who bought shares in little drink umbrellas… genius.
  10. Reggae and calypso fever. Mon.
  11. You will experience the ecstasy of drinking Pina Coladas with your toes in actual sand and realise in that moment that your whole shitty life has been worth it. *gong*
  12. We’ll all be like “what sharks?”
  13. Hangovers—now with heatstroke!
  14. We won’t have to bury bottles of rum all along the beach anymore.
  15. The oyster population will take yet another hit.
  16. So many people rubbing sunscreen on strangers. #worldpeace
  17. Forget bikini body. Beach-bar body has arrived—and it involves a beer gut. Yew!
  18. There is no reason to be sad ever again, pretty much.
  19. Finally, the pirate population will have somewhere to unwind.
  20. You will live out an endless loop of curing your hangover with a trip to the beach.

Going soon? You might need some tips on How To Look Good From Beach To Bar.

Image credit: Louise Coghill

Our best stories, direct to your inbox, helping you to out-trend your mates every weekend...

Tags:

Funny Bars

You May Also Like