Listen up, kids, we know there hasn’t been any Michael Hill jewellery ads or national ‘Best Dad in the World’ competitions, but Father’s Day is quite literally this Sunday and the clock’s ticking if you still haven’t bought him a present.
But rather than being helpful and presenting you with a myriad of thoughtful gift ideas, we’re going to head in the opposite direction and give you a list of things you definitely shouldn’t get Dad for Father’s day this year, under any circumstances.
Here are 29 things you shouldn’t get your dad this Father’s Day.
- A bubble gum scented car freshener in the shape of a high heel
- A dustpan and broom decorated with cartoon native Australian animals
- A DVD of The Biggest Loser Season 3
- That videotape of a 1995 footy match that used to be the only footage of your first birthday until he recorded over it
- A coupon for a free acupuncture session given by you
- Enrollment in a life drawing class
- Malaysia Airlines frequent flyer points
- A burial plot
- A photo album of all the major life events he missed while you were growing up
- A personal Snapchat account that only follows the Kardashians
- A blind horse
- A set of expensive champagne flutes
- A yellow 2010 Suzuki Swift with 250,000km on the clock
- A pair of crystal-studded Havaianas
- A Total Girl bucket hat
- Private health insurance
- Two Herald Sun subscriptions
- A sterling silver Tiffany’s infinity ring
- A return train ticket between Rome and Naples
- Boomergeddon: How Runaway Deficits Will Bankrupt the Country and Ruin Retirement for Aging Baby Boomers by James A. Bacon Jr.
- A signed Collingwood jersey
- Some maternity dungarees
- A blank will kit
- A one-legged dog with canine diabetes
- Tickets to an audience taping of The Footy Show for last week
- A year’s supply of Libra maxi pads
- A subscription to the Ashy Bines Bikini Body Challenge
- Failure To Launch on Blu-ray
- A paternity test
If you are looking for actual advice on what to get dad, this is a good place to start.
Image credit: Alexandra Gorn