You know why you’re here. Because Sydney is better than Melbourne. It’s a statistical fact; like how spag bol always tastes better the next day, or how your pizza will arrive the very second you decide to go to the bathroom. As important as these topics are, we’re here to discuss the merits of Sydney over that other place. You know, the one that doesn’t have Vacanza.
- First things first: Messina was born in Sydney. I don’t think we need to continue, but let’s anyway.
- Beaches. 100 of them. Keep your tennis.
- Speaking of which, you can be off the beach and in the airport in 20 minutes. Take that, SkyBus.
- Easy navigation is boring. We love a game of ‘how long until we can turn right?’
- Alf Stewart sh*ts on Harold whatshisface. Summer Bay for life.
- Owning property by the time we’re 80 is just a really exciting concept.
- No-one actually understands the tram. If they say they do, they’re lying.
- Same goes for your blasted turning right from the left lane nonsense.
- It’s a parmy, not a parmo. You’re a drongo if you call it a parmo.
- While we’re on the topic, it’s a case of beer, not a slab. Slab sounds like scab and scabs grow on elbows.
- Also, middy sounds better than pot. We’re adults, we don’t need a handle on our beer.
- We aren’t greedy. Two AFL teams will do us juuuust fine, thanks.
- On that note, never trust a city that names a team after the bloody magpie.
- We have ferries. With cute names like Charlotte and Friendship. They’re basically a mini-cruise without the food poisoning and old people.
- Melbourne WAS the capital of Australia. But then it was taken away from it because lol.
- Once you’ve had a New Year’s Eve in the company of fireworks exploding from the Sydney Harbour Bridge and reflecting onto Sydney Harbour, nothing will ever compare.
- Flying in over Sydney Harbour after a long (or short) time away will never not take your breath away.
- Mate. Mr Crackles. Need I say more?
- On a slightly depressing but just as important note: Kevin Bacon, our official mascot.
- Our water is pristine blue. Not poo brown. Yarra-gonna have to take that on the head, Melbs.
- Two words: Mardi. Gras. Cheque please.
To prove it even more, check out these amazing things do to in Sydney this April.
Image credit: Angela Law