Funny

25 Things Only People From The North Understand

By Kirsty Petrides - 19 Mar 2017


Ah, the north. Much like the men of the night’s watch, those who call the north home are known to venture to distant lands (the CBD), battle monsters (the Mitchell Freeway at peak hour) and endure great hardship (try to get a parking spot at Hillarys on a hot day.)

But despite this, the north is home to some of Perth’s prettiest beaches, loveliest people and some kick ass cafes.

Here are 25 things you know to be true if you’re a northie.

  1. You have to deal with the line ‘oh so you’re from south Geraldton?’ Brilliant.
  2. You bought a dog purely so you could take it to Yelo on a Saturday morning.
  3. You start and end your day in the same blissful way—by sitting in bumper to bumper traffic on the Mitchell and slowly but surely losing your mind.
  4. Public transport is tedious, because getting a seat on the Butler line at peak hour is rarer than a person in Rockingham wearing shoes (ha, southie burn!)
  5. Your younger years looked a little something like this—Wednesday nights at The Leederville, Thursday nights at Bar 120, Friday nights at The Carine, Saturday nights at Hip-E Club and Sundays at the Mullaloo Beach Hotel. (Sorry about that, liver.)
  6. Joondalup is responsible for bringing the Thermomix to Australia. Yeah, you’re welcome, people of WA. We hope you’re all enjoying your delicious home-made pesto.
  7. Whitfords is not a suburb. It’s a road.
  8. You dream about the day you can afford to do a whole grocery shop at The Herdy.
  9. When you’re low on motivation at the office, you go for a drive through Harbour Rise @ Hillarys to remind yourself of what hard work and money can buy you.
  10. Lakeside Joondalup Shopping Centre used to be somewhere chill to buy your groceries, but now it’s just terrifying and gives you mild anxiety.
  11. You talk about the good ol’ days when you could afford to have a Sunday session at The Breakwater.
  12. Your suburb is full of British, Irish and Scottish expats who seem to be permanently sunburnt—even in winter.
  13. You’re still not sure whether R’Nay Clothing is pronounced ‘Are-Nay’ or ‘Reh-Nay’.
  14. When you’re having a bad day, you cure it by ordering the Norma’s Salsa at Voyage Kitchen.
  15. You have stumbled from Botanica to Tao to drunkenly gorge on sushi train more times than you can count.
  16. Watching the redevelopments at Scarborough has been like watching an episode of Extreme Makeover—the process is unsightly and painful, but you know the final result will be sexy as hell.
  17. Your proudest moment was when WA’s first Krispy Kreme opened its doors in Hillarys.
  18. You go to IKEA for breakfast. Because you can.
  19. You’ve decided your new life goal is to buy a house in North Beach, purely because of all the rad eateries like Tropico, La Buda and North Beach Deli popping up there.
  20. You are in a state of shock at all the far-northern suburbs that keep getting added to the ‘Perth metro area’. Eglinton, Alkimos, Jindalee—what are these strange places?
  21. You have absolutely no idea what all the new suburbs of Wanneroo are called. And you’re not going to pretend that you do.
  22. You spent your adolescence cruising around Karrinyup Shopping Centre on a Thursday night.
  23. You could navigate your way around Hillarys Boat Harbour with your eyes closed.
  24. If your friends or family ever suggest going to Fremantle, you laugh and then mock them for making such an absurd proposal.
  25. And if they ever do the unthinkable and MOVE TO FREMANTLE (gasp), you don’t speak to them for a while, constantly remind them that they live really away and never visit them. Ever.

Want more lols? Here are 12 things your barista wishes you'd stop doing.

Image credit: Louise Coghill

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