When you’ve already blown your annual, sick, bereavement and carer’s leave on streaming GoT live every Monday at home, you’ve gotta start getting creative. Fortunately for you, we’ve put together a list of the most tried and true sick day excuses in the history of hookey.
Here are 20 ‘sick day’ excuses your boss will believe [almost] every time.
- “I fainted in the shower this morning and hit my head on a Lush bath bomb.”
- “My grandmother made sushi with raw chicken last night.”
- “I punctured my cornea while brushing my hair.”
- “I skulled a bottle of Dettol Mouthwash thinking it was isotonic Powerade.”
- “I ate a can of Fancy Feast instead of tuna.”
- “My dog has viral gastro and my house has white carpets.”
- “I developed rheumatoid arthritis in my hands from working so late last night.”
- “I went to bed with wet hair and woke up with pneumonia.”
- “I went swimming at the beach and microscopic water insects ate my legs.”
- “I ate a packet of the ‘new’ recipe BBQ shapes and had a severe reaction to the foreign bodies.”
- “The electric blanket was left on 3 all night and I woke up with severe dehydration.”
- “I heard my neighbour coughing last night and accidentally touched his car door handle this morning.”
- “I got bitten by a feral cat while I was putting the bins out last night.”
- “I flew home from Bali yesterday and still have some residual jet lag.”
- “Smoke from the neighbour’s woodfire triggered delayed-onset asthma.”
- “I didn’t realise ham and cheese toasties had gluten in them.”
- “I thought the packet said take two pills forty times a day.”
- “I broke my wrist trying to unscrew my KeepCup.”
- “My cat was diagnosed with feline depression and the Dr Harry website says it’s contagious.”
- “I accidentally kept my eyes open while I was setting my makeup with hairspray.”
You might want to keep one of these excuses up your sleeve for when Harry Potter and The Cursed Child finally arrives in Australia.
Image credit: Priscilla Du Preez