We’re all adults here at The Urban List. Our disputes are fleeting and rare, and often laid to rest with a civilised chat that leaves both parties enlightened and humbled by the other’s perfectly valid and intelligent opinions. But of all the disagreements that have divided our office one particularly churlish clash stands out as the most polarising of them all: Northside vs Southside.
The moment postcodes get thrown into the mix everything turns into a dirty shit fight. Tempers flare, doors slam, words are said; it’s just like Christmas at home. It’s become the unwavering thorn in an otherwise blooming basket and no amount of coercion or childish name-calling has so far been able to move it.
As the correspondent in the West, I was selected as an impartial party to rifle through the annals of this turf war and I can tell you that within the conflict are enough bones of contention to build a skeleton crew. What we’ve got is an unwinnable war, here’s why
- Despite many valiant efforts from Northsiders, Sunnybank remains the best Asian precinct in Brisbane.
- Thanks to the Valley’s club strip and generally thumping vibe, the North is where the nightlife is.
- The best sporting fixtures are held either at the Gabba or the Queensland Tennis Centre.
- …but whenever Beyoncé, Coldplay, Ed Sheeran or Taylor Swift come to town, they always hit up Suncorp Stadium or the Entertainment Centre.
- Southsiders will never relent on their belief that Stradbroke is the best island holiday destination, nor will Northsiders concede that two islands aren’t necessarily better than one.
- When it comes to brunch the likes of Annerley’s Jam Pantry, Café O Mai and BillyKart OG throw some serious shade on whatever’s going on above the river.
- Holiday traffic wars: Northsiders are better situated to win en route to Noosa, but Southsiders get a sainted headstart for trips to Byron Bay.
- The entire CBD sides with the Northerners.
- If a firestorm ever swept down from Innisfail, the Northside would be incinerated before the flames extinguished in the river.
- There is no definitive way to prove that Stefan’s Skyneedle is more iconic than City Hall, but try telling a Southsider that.
- Southsiders have the monopoly of arts and culture courtesy of QPAC, GOMA and West End.
- Riverside dining? Northies will take your Southbank and raise you a Portside, a Powerhouse and an Eagle Street Pier.
- Koala-kuddling Southsiders have a deeper connection with nature that the Northie’s can only be jealous of.
- Laneway culture is pretty much a Northsider’s game.
- When it comes to suburban blood feuds, Cleveland and Sandgate have been warring for so long their rivalry is now just part of the scenery.
What do you think? Which side is the premier side of our beloved metropolis?
Image credit: Wikipedia