17 Things You’ll Only Understand If You Think People Are The Worst

By Simone Jovel
13th Jul 2017

hate people

People. Or Fickle F*ckers as I like to call them. Too much? Well you clicked through so I’m going to go with no, and I’m also going to assume that because you’re here you’re one of the few fellow humans that I could potentially tolerate (and don’t get your knickers in a twist, I know you could be saying the same thing about me).

Whether you love ‘em, hate ‘em or simply tolerate them, this is one failsafe list guaranteed to give you a LOL, or at least elicit a cheeky fist pump when you’re having one of those days, or potentially one of those weeks.

  1. Your dog is the best person you know.
  2. The chick next door’s dog is the second best.
  3. ICYMI slow walkers are considered people.
  4. So are people who walk right behind you. If you’re close enough to hear me breathing, you’re too close.
  5. As far as you’re concerned, staying in has always been the new going out.
  6. But a shared hatred of the same person can in fact make you like (read: tolerate) certain individuals.
  7. You choose the self-service checkout over the cashier, even if there is no line.
  8. Your pet peeve is when the sales assistant asks if you need help. Who do they even think they are? No I will not make chat with you.
  9. Networking events are your idea of hell.
  10. Don’t even get us started on small talk.
  11. Or group work.
  12. You’ve chosen to drive the 6km to work because sharing the bus or train with that many people is your actual nightmare.
  13. Donald Trump.
  14. Calls from ‘no caller ID’ will always go unanswered. 
  15. Actually, speaking on the phone in general is a form of torture.
  16. It’s people who have kept The Big Bang Theory on TV for half our lives.
  17. They steal umbrellas. Shout out to the person who stole mine #Iparticuarlyhateyou. 

Speaking of dogs, here are all the puppies you should be following on Instagram right now.

Image credit: Parks and Recreation

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