The perks of having a special someone are obvious and universal (tax breaks, the comforting security of a perennial plus one, rubbing your happiness in your ex’s face etc.) and I must admit the thought of companionship and the promise of a long and happy future sure revs my engine.
But being single is awesome.
When I was 17 my mother dropped some truth on me. She said ‘One hundred years ago you’d be married with a family – find your own way to school’. Ever since then I have revelled in this buggy, modern age and the ease with which I may flounder in the innumerable benefits of singularity.
Here is a 28-strong taster as to why remaining unattached is just as fulfilling as finding your kindred spirit and showing Pablo Neruda what real passion looks like:
- Wandering around your house in novelty underwear is an immediate liberty you don’t have to invest years into a relationship to enjoy.
- Crumbs in bed? Crumbs in schmed.
- You can speculate about the names of your future children and the table decorations for your ideal wedding without making anyone uncomfortable.
- The total cost of going for a movie, expensive dinner, or toboggan ride is cut in half.
- You can have as much promiscuous sex as you want, with anyone you want.
- Netflix and chill literally means just Netflix and chill.
- Impromptu trips to Vietnam are just another way to brighten a rainy day.
- The absolute freedom to watch your favourite shows whenever you want. Sometimes at 2am.
- Bulk and uninterrupted spooning for you and Tiddles.
- The colour of the drapes is exactly what colour YOU wanted.
- Where to go for Christmas lunch is the easiest decision you’ll ever make.
- You can roll over in bed as many times as you like and no one will complain.
- Self-sufficiency hangs about you like a glittery shawl for people to marvel at everywhere you go.
- A three-way with two perfect strangers is a totally feasible end to your Friday night.
- The lack of a readily available second opinion makes you a wizard at snap decisions.
- As an emotionally independent rock you can garner a following of hapless fools and gradually foster them into a cult of pastry chefs.
- You know exactly who is responsible for not screwing the lid back on the milk properly.
- Wanna buy a puppy? Go right ahead.
- Total dominion over the bathroom mirror at all times.
- You can stay out until 3am, crash on Sophie’s couch, go to brunch in last night’s clothes, and come home a full 24 hours after you left and there will be no one reprimanding you when you walk in the door.
- Need to pick a movie? Your suggestion always wins.
- You’ll never fail to pay a bill or feed the cat because you thought the other person was going to do it.
- Making plans is a snap when the only schedule you have to worry about is your own.
- All the extra time you’ve saved by not sending those ‘love you too’ texts can be put towards finishing that novel you’ve been working on.
- No one feels entitled to half your breakfast if it’s better than what they ordered.
- The ability to pass on any subversive rivalry with the showy power couple at a dinner party.
- Your friends complain that they see TOO much of you.
- If you forget to shave nobody has to know.
Did we miss anything? Hit us up!
