Funny

50 Truths About Brisbane’s Winter

By Rachel Lay - 22 Mar 2016

Being from Brisbane, we don’t realize how much of a non-event our winter is. There’s always a certain few who insist on donning scarves, gloves, beanies and a jacket when the mercury hits 21. But sorry Brisbanites, our winters just ain’t that bad. In honor of summer’s passing we’ve decided to compile a list of a few truths about Brisbane’s 'winter' that we’re guessing you can relate to. 

#1 We get excited about actually being able to sleep with a sheet covering us.

#2 You actually need to pull your doona out of hibernation of at least two weeks of the year.

#3 But even then, you end up kicking it off you because it’s still kinda hot.

#4 You buy a coat because winter is coming but it only gets worn once, and even then you probs could have opted for a cardie.

#5 Wearing jeans doesn’t come with that instant regret that jeans on a 30 degree day comes with.

#6 You can still opt for thongs (sometimes with socks) for that dash to the shops.

#7 Electric blankets on sale at Kmart seem like a great idea except when you get home and realise they just make your room feel like it’s summer again.

#8 You get so excited for winter you buy a cute onesie only to never be able to wear it coz it’s still hot AF under your doona.

#9 You feel #sowintery when you drink mulled wine, even though the weather doesn’t really suit, but you make do anyway.

#10 You wake up each morning hoping for a snow day to get you off work. Hahaha #justkidding.

#11 You justify your wish by reminding everyone of that time it snowed in Stanthorpe!

#12 A trip to the Granite Belt is on the cards because how else will you experience winter?

#13 It’s totally OK to wear active wear for the duration of winter – it’s so cold you simply must wear your full length leggings all day everyday.

#14 Dressing for an evening out on the town totally screws you.

#15 How many looks can you create with skinny jeans and a leather jacket?

#16 A warm meat pie from Jocelyn’s becomes an everyday essential.

#17 Your morning greeting is replaced with ‘OMG it’s SOOO cold today!’

#18 You begin to run out of winter clothing options around the 14th of June.

#19 Regret over cutting your hair in summer ‘because it’s just too hot with all this hair’ haunts you through the chilly winter months.

#20 By July you’re over winter because your skin is pale, dry and just needs some sun.

#21 You say ‘I swear winter was way colder last year’ at least four times.

#22 An adorable coat is considered an essential for your already fluffy and thus warm dog.

#23 Hairy legs become a bragging right.

#24 Getting out of bed is SO hard you guys, so hard.

#25 You hear the daily ‘you guys have nothing to complain about with your winter!’ and shake your head in disbelief… it’s cold, you argue, it’s cold!

#26 Tourists still hitting the beach cause you to shake your head.

#26 Southerners rocking shorts and singlets cause you great concern: ‘Don’t they know it’s winter?’ you say through chattering teeth on a 22 degree day.

#27 You smile proudly at the weather forecast when the mercury sits below 20 as you picture your big woolly jumper-focused outfit for the next day.

#28 Your pride is hurt when you see that the weather in Tasmania is minus 50 with snow.

#29 But, you know that even though we’re still in double digits, our winter is just as a cold as there anyway when you factor in wind chill…

#30 Heading out for Sunday breakfast now includes a coat (and potentially a scarf).

#31 Looking for some more epic things to do in Brisbane when it's cold? The ragu at Beccofino is made even better when it’s cold outside, so you opt to eat there weekly.

#32 You feel so adult when you head to markets early and fetch some fresh vegies to whip up an epic winter soup.

#33 You turn your car on early to warm you up from the heinous chill that comes with a winter morning in Brisbane.

#34 You curse former you for opting to live somewhere without a fire place – what were you thinking?

#35 Novelty slippers feel like a good idea and a sound investment.

#36 Likewise with ugg boots.

#37 The long haired folk among us flaunt their locks because hair is no longer a sweat-inducing blanket.

#38 Styling your hair actually seems doable because having hot air blowing in your face is welcome on a winter morning.

#39 You suddenly become the world’s number one hot chocolate fan and factor in stops at the Swiss Chocolatier in Newstead wherever possible.

#40 You wonder if that Maroons jersey comes in long sleeves…

#41 You consider investing in gloves that work with smart phone screens.

#42 You begin to count down to summer because after all, winter isn’t really our thing…

#43 You go through at least eight tubes of Paw Paw Ointment to soothe your winter-chapped lips.

#44 Being able to justify purchasing each of the Aesop body moisturizers because your QLD skin just can’t handle winter.

#45 Having to forgo matte lipstick for those three months because it just looks shit on chapped lips.

#46 Buying upwards of ten pairs of jeans for winter that you spend the rest of the year trying to justify.

#47 More than one coffee a day becomes a must because it’s so cold you just need another of Brisbane’s best coffees.

#48 The cool room at the bottle-o stops being a reprise from the heat and becomes a super fast dash that will have you back in heating in under two minutes.

#49 When September rolls around you have over 50 pairs of stockings with multiple ladders that now have no other home than in the bin.

#50 You’re actually thankful that our winters kind of rock, because let’s be real – who would rather be in Melbourne? Not us. 

Looking for more things to do in Brisbane? Check out 90 things we love doing in Brisbane!

Image credit: Brisbane City Council

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