Having feet that aren’t the greatest cause of shame in your life is a goal I’m sure we can all relate to. I have a friend whose feet broke the foot file at the nail place, and since then, this has become an intense fear of mine, on the same level as dropping my phone down that tiny crack between the floor and the lift. So it’s safe to say that having soft, ‘milky’ feet is a pretty firm goal of mine – feet that make you proud to wear sandals.
So, when I saw Milky Foot sitting pretty on the shelf of my local chemist I leapt at the chance to try it. And, being the dedicated writer I am, I have ever so selflessly decided to share my experience with you. Here’s what happened:
The packaging instructs you to wash your feet and then pop them into the (actually) cute plastic slippers, then you simply empty the lotion into the slippers and tie the bows up #itsalook. After a handy tip from my friend, I put a pair of socks on over the top to make walking around a little less bizarre. But, TBH – it feels weird AF. It’s like walking around in socks you accidently stood in a puddle in, but the socks are made of plastic, and you’re choosing to (and enjoying?) wearing them. You remain in this slightly uncomfortable phase for an hour, and then rinse your tootsies off. Make sure you wash your hands too – this magical potion isn’t about discriminating and it will make your fingers peel #notalook.
Tip: Get comfy for this hour long process; you don’t want to be walking around too much. I opted for Netflix with an Aesop mask and an Aldi bathrobe, which was the ultimate iteration of glamour.
In the subsequent days I didn’t notice any dramatic, snake-like peeling of my feet, but the cracks did begin to show. Small areas began to peel and my feet felt SO soft. There’s no real update here, except I spend each morning closely inspecting my feet to check if it’s still acceptable to don my go-to pair of sandals (it is).
I start to wonder if this thing will actually work. It’s almost been a whole week, which is when the peeling begins, and nothing, bar a few peely spots, have appeared. I’m instantly thankful that my workplace allows me to be 100% open about the weird foot experiment I’m embarking on.
The peeling has started to intensify. We’re at the point where I question my footwear choices now, which is promising. I’ve read that around the end of week one you should soak your feet to really amp the peeling up, so I do just that. I run myself a bath and am happily soaking away in the tub when I see a flake of skin floating in the water – it’s at this point I realise I’m way too into this whole Milky Foot thing.
Rather than recoiling in disgust and jumping out of the water pronto, my reaction is more along the lines of ‘OMG, it’s working! Yeeeeess!’ followed by a close inspection of my feet. My initial excitement is dulled when I inspect my feet post soak – I’m so ugly I think to myself as I stare in disgust at my flaky feet. I’m even asked if it’s tinea. No, it’s not thank you very much, it’s Milky Foot and it’s technically my job to partake in this foul experiment.
My feet are giving off ‘snake emerging from its former skin’ vibes and it’s giving me mixed emotions: am I grossed out or am I really into this?
Obviously a game of barefoot bowls on a hung over Sunday morning with ‘milky feet’ isn’t ideal when you’re trying to keep your flaky, peeling feet on the down low to the general public. But, that’s exactly what I did. My feet were in what I would describe as peak-peeling mode and looked exactly like those pictures you will find on Google. Thankfully the crowd at bowls kept pretty quiet about the large chunks of my skin that were floating across the bowling green. I did my best confused look at the flakes of skin floating past to try and convince the bowls club crowd I knew nothing about it. The worst part of this ordeal is that the grass of the bowls green turned the skin of my feet a bright shade of green.
I’m currently at the stage where I’m over having gross, peeling feet and am just wondering when this ordeal will end? I even had to vacuum my car due to the flaking skin carpeting the floor beneath the clutch. I feel like the process has to be over now?
Milky foot is probably up there with one of the grossest things I’ve done. I can’t say I would do it again just because of the grossness and inconvenience of your life being literally flooded with chunks of your own skin. But, the results are totally worth it. My feet are definitely milky and super soft. Milky Foot should defs be added to your beauty bucket list. Even if you don’t care about your feet, do it for the lols.
Image credit: Saltykisses
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