Funny

We’ll Tell You What Kind Of Driver You Are Based On Your Star Sign

By Ellen Seah - 27 Feb 2018


The cat is out of the (figurative) bag guys: star signs may or may not be entirely accurate. It’s bloody blasphemy, we know.

Regardless, there’s something addictive about reading grossly hyperbolic, vastly sweeping horoscopes. Much like your Nonna’s cookies, you know you shouldn’t reach for the ninth one but do it anyway.

We partnered with Mitsubishi to celebrate the launch of their new Eclipse Cross, (and because their horoscope thirst is real) to bring you what kind of driver you are based on your star sign. Brace yourselves.

You are the figurative embodiment of a ram, which should give you an idea of how much your friends do not want to drive with you. You’re a bit of a risk-taker, which is great for lawn bowls but terrible for lane changing. Maybe it’s because you’re always late?

The bull of the dysfunctional star sign family, you’d think Taurus’s would be the more aggressive, ill-tempered version of an Aries. You’d be incorrect in this precise game of science. The slowest drivers on the road, Taurus’ insist on going at least 12km under the speed limit and frequently checking their “check engine” light. Ensure you have a good horn so you can beep back at everyone else (who are in the right).

The twins of the fam, Gemini are permanently bored behind the wheel. They’re the type of driver that will insist on pulling over to check out every vaguely interesting looking landmark (including the cherry stand off the highway). Entertain them with a killer sound system, just ensure you’ve got a few backup playlists planned.

Your friends will actively decline a lift home with you. You say you’re an “instinctive” driver, which to everyone else but you translates to, “doesn’t know how to indicate”. A car with some (friendly) reminders and notifications (blind spot warning reminders, guys?) would probably do you (and your passengers heart rate) some good.

Your car isn’t just a form of transportation; it’s your form of expression. New wheels, new gadgets and new errything is the go. If there was a gadget that could make you fly in the sky (Harry Potter-style), you’d have had it years ago.

You make every other driver look bad. You took driving lessons for the entirety of your L-plates, because your mum didn’t want you driving her new BMW.  Your favourite pastime involves critiquing your friend’s hand positioning on the wheel, with a coffee frappuccino in your hand.

You’ll frequently take your car out on joy rides, just to listen to music, because your housemates don’t understand #realmusic. You love a good road-trip, but your mates know there is zero benefit in shotgunning, since they’re not allowed to touch the sound system.

You love 4WD-ing and will tell anyone who will listen (and act interested) about it. If you’re not hanging out at your local camping store, you can be found an hour or two out of the city to “clear your mind”.

You expect your entire house to fit in your car. On an ordinary workday, you’ll have up to three bags of “absolute essentials”, which are absolutely not essentials. Better find some wheels that will fit everything in.

You are and have always been a family person. Getting everyone in the car (whether they be children or your non-adult friends whom you’ve taken under your wing) can feel like a marathon, but it’s all worth it when everyone’s buckled in.

You love the wind in your hair. If the windows aren’t down, what’s the point in driving anywhere, right?

You’re a competitive one, both on the road and off it. Aside from berating random commuters and zipping in and out of traffic, your favourite pastimes include watching reruns of MKR and watering your backyard vegetable garden every hour on the hour.

If you want to check out more about the Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross (or just wanting to ogle?!), head here.

Image credit: Stocksy

Editor's note: This article is proudly sponsored by Mitsubishi and endorsed by The Urban List. Thank you for supporting the sponsors who make The Urban List possible. Click here for more information on our editorial policy. 

Our best stories, direct to your inbox, helping you to out-trend your mates every weekend...

You May Also Like