Dutch Courage Officers' Mess | Image credit: Ariana Gillrie
Breaking things off can be a harsh and mucky venture. Recent years have seen a rise in ‘ghosting’ as the favoured mode of ending relationships, whereby the heartbreaker simply ceases virtual contact with their former flame and fades off the romantic radar (like a GHOST). To would-be ghosters I say FIGHT THE URGE. Your rebuffed beloved deserves better than that—a proper conversation and a drink that wasn’t poured from a box is the least you could do.
Ergo, in the spirit of unburnt bridges, it’s in your best interests to keep things chummy with a cheeky drink and a bit of casual ‘oh, by the way, it’s over’. To that end we’ve compiled this nifty listy of the most nurturing environments to leave the vulnerable heart you’ve just mercilessly lacerated.
Here are the best bars in Brisbane where we take all our ex-lotharios to let ‘em down easy:
The Mermaid Lounge at Lefty’s
If your break-up usually involves some reminder of all the other fish in the sea, then the Mermaid Lounge at Lefty's is the best place to cast away from a bedfellow. With any luck they’ll be so grateful for introducing them to this bitchin’ joint that you’ll be forgiven for ruining their wedding plans.
Dutch Courage Officers' Mess
This is the perfect place for you if the prospect of breaking up in person is still daunting. As for the object of your severance, it’s a good thing that Dutch Courage specialises in gin: the unstopper of repressed melancholy, guaranteed to clean out their tear ducts.
This is where all the emotionally overwrought creatives hang out so your date’s distressed sobs will fit right in at The End. And the bar is always thumping which means there will be plenty of
witnesses people around if things turn sour…
Bloodhound Corner Bar
Besides a slammin’ selection of loose juice, Bloodhound Corner Bar also serves some of the best bar tacos in Brisbane, the perfect thing to fill the void you’ve just left in their heart and negate the bitterness of their anguish.
Drowning your sorrows has never been so affordable! Greaser Bar has the perfect suds and snackery to comfort the fractured remnants of a decimated heart. Their ace music scene and hip kid rep means this Brisbane bar is furnished with plenty of viable lover substitutes and rebound targets.
Sonny’s House of Blues
Soon the sound of crooning blues will drown out the wailing of the poor heartbroken sod you’ve left slumped over the bar. Bless him, he doesn’t realise how conducive this posture is to getting one of Sonny’s legendary Reuben sandwiches.
Limes Rooftop Bar
I know, taking someone to the rooftop of a hotel to break their heart doesn’t really seem like a good idea, but get this: the crowd at Limes Rooftop Bar are so damn fine-looking the odds are you’re dumpable squeeze will probably be eyeing off a new lady before you even get around to asking ‘where is this relationship going?’
Bathhouse Bar at Les Bubbles
Maybe it’s the bottomless frites at Les Bubbles upstairs, or perhaps it’s the sparkling spirits that attract the Bathhouse Bar’s devastatingly witty and attractive patronage. Either way, the sting of parting ways with an old lover is easily softened for both of you in such an attractively populated space. The Bathhouse Bar also features a very convenient 15-person hot tub if your ex-lover upturns a martini on your noggin.
Wait, you’ve been dumped already and you're back on the dating scene? Read our Brisbane's Best Bars For First Dates article pronto!