It’s that time of year when the lactose intolerant run and hide, and the rest of us spring into elasticated waists as we begin our valiant quest for milkshakes that taste like real milkshakes. And maybe if you wanted to throw in some levelled-up trappings and adornments that would be fine too, but it’s the euphoric brain freeze we’re after.
After floundering in the syrupy splendour of Brisbane’s best milky offerings, we’ve whittled the criteria for the ideal milkshake down to just three boxes: frothy, cold, and just makes you happy. These are the only requirements of 2016’s milkshake round-up, and here are the jugs that made the grade:
Southside Tea Room
Start with a trip back to the old school at Southside Tea Room. Their shakes are lauded as a rollicking good gulp with a depth of punchy flavouryum concealed ‘neath a sparkling cherry. Add a shot of espresso for a bit of a BOOOOST if you like, and no matter how many flagons you down, Southside won’t cut you off or kick you out. Why? Because they CARE.
Whipitude and sass rains like your neighbour’s sprinkler at Gramercy Coffee. They’ve provided Brisbane with some of the best blasted dairy drinks our filthy dollars can buy. Many have tried but none have managed to resist the charm of this verdant nook with most ducking in to slam a cheeky shake. Lord have Gramercy on my soul…
Chester Street Bakery & Bar
This town has gone absolutely crackers for neat micropolis of brownies, doughnuts, marshmallows, wafers, and all other kinds of fripperies that perch on top of Chester Street’s renowned and devastatingly attractive shakes. No decent joyride around Brisbane’s milky taverns could conceivably begin without one.
Fuel & Co
Not many places have the gusto to serve up Heavenly Shakes. Fuel & Co talks a big game and we’re thrilled to report that not only do they deliver, but they’ll do it in a timely fashion. Big fans of classic combos, Fuel and Co’s shakes administer wild brainfreeze in the flavours of Mint Slice, Jaffa and cookies and cream. No signature required.
Let Minnow Cafe
This is one joint where keeping on top of the specials is a must. Their weekly shake-ups have covered everything from chocolate brownie, top deck, and mud cake, to apple pie, Froot Loop, and choc chip cookie dough. So many options! Let Minnow Cafe also offer malted milkshakes, thickshakes, and competitively priced car insurance.
Our relationship with Getta Burger is one founded on mutual trust, respect, and milkshakes that use entire slices of pie as a flavourbase. No, you didn’t read that wrong, the shakes contain and entire slice of pie which makes desserting on the go a total snap.
With lashings of oozy salted caramel or Nutella draped lusciously around the rim you best believe that taking on a Little Loco milkshake is a no hands job. And they know exactly how hard that is so they’ve topped their dairy-whip fantasticos with a doughnut to keep your straw steady #shakehacks.
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