Gracious hosts, Death Valley Bar and Southside Tea Room, are having themselves a wing competition. Just a nice, ordinary wing-eating competition with absolutely no complications. Oh, except for the fact that these wings are drenched in the house-made HOT as hell wing sauce made with CAROLINA REAPERS.
Some facts about the Carolina Reaper: originally from Rock Hill in South Carolina, this bumpy little plant looks like Satan’s testicle and is about ten times hotter. Spicy is too mild a word to describe the fury in these little beasts, that create a sensation reportedly similar to molten lava. If you’d like some numbers to go with that visual, the Scoville scale, used for measuring the heat of foods, clocks the Carolina Reaper at about 1,500,000 units. For comparison, that stray jalapeño that you always manage to bite into is only between 2500 and 5000 units.
Now we know what we’re dealing with, here’s how the competition will run. Contestants will face six ordinarily delightful chicken wings laced with this hellfire sauce; their challenge to wipe the plate clean in under five minutes, with no drinks or relief for a further five minutes just to prove how goddamn tough they are. And I hear most of them aren’t taking out a life insurance policy beforehand.
But don’t worry, the agony is worth it for the prize haul up for offer. For every six wings eaten, the chomper will earn themselves a $30 bar tab (highly valuable when you consider that Fonzie Abbott will be taking over the taps for the evening), as well as a free dinner at their end of year Texas BBQ, and a Death Valley Beer Cult Lighter which entitles the bearer to cult privileges for the following year. And all you gotta do is stomach a crackling ember flung up from the boiling vermillion of the seventh circle of hell. Peasy.
Suckers for punishment should check out the events page and start priming their palate with some Trinidad Scorpions.
What: Hot wing competition
When: 5pm-9pm, 16 February
Where: Death Valley Bar, Morningside.