Funny

28 Things You’ve Definitely Said If You Live In Perth

By Sarah Joanna Pope - 01 Dec 2015


Just don’t pretend you haven’t. You have. I’m inside your head.

  1. I’m so poor.” Buying that third house really took it out of you. I’m not paying for your beer.
  2. Yeah, Nah.” The Diet Coke of ‘no.’
  3. Yeah I went to a wedding there last week.” And will next week too, probably.
  4. Perth is so expensive.” I wants to buy all the things and I can’ts.
  5. The bouncer wouldn’t let me in with the shoes I was wearing.” Shoe intolerance. We’re better than this.
  6. Want to do a ‘fun run’ with me?” I know what both of those words mean but I fail to see how they belong together.
  7. Thank god for Uber.” It feels weird not being treated with disdain.
  8. That weather looks a bit sharky.” Overcast weather = theme from Jaws playing in my head.
  9. Dive under the wave.” #perthlifeskills
  10. My sister saw Blake from the bachelor at her gym the other day.” I wish Perth had better celebrities.
  11. I haven’t been on a holiday for so long… like… two months!” So I basically can’t even.
  12. We could go to my parent’s holiday place!” The best friends are the ones whose parents have a holiday place, or a boat.
  13. Yeah man <insert foreign country>. They love Aussies.” Duh.
  14. They questioned me in customs for like an hour and I was like—ummm I’m from Australia?!” Don’t you know who I am?! I thought everyone overseas loved us?
  15. Dammit! I looked on Facebook and now I know who won The Bachelor.” Oh, hey time difference, thanks for ruining all reality-TV finales. 
  16. Flights to Bali are so cheap now.” And everyday.
  17. I went on a Tinder date with him… and him… him too.” Small dating pool.
  18. I might go travel for a year.” The answer to every career crisis or breakup.
  19. Sorry… it’s a school night.” There’s a time and a place for a social life and it’s the weekend.
  20. Perth has the worst service!” Waiter, why you hate me?
  21. Beach weather!” #weatherlyfe
  22. They say Perth has the most beautiful girls in Australia.” Humble.
  23. Have you tried the salted caramel doughnuts at Mary’s bakery?” Of course. I have a mouth.
  24. We follow AFL here, not rugby.” Dammit Tim, at least try to fit in.
  25. Have you tried Bikram yoga?” Yes and I blocked it out. Or blacked out. 
  26. Doner kebab with sweet chilli sauce please.” No regrets. 
  27. No worries.” Our answer to everything.
  28. Want to grab breakfast before work? Seven?” Seven? No, god no. Stop asking. 

Looking for other Perthy goodness? Check out 50 Things To Do In Perth Under $50!

Image credit: Louise Coghill

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