Funny

30 Reasons Why Perth Needs Daylight Savings

By Sarah Joanna Pope - 08 Oct 2015

Daylight Savings Perth


Oh so you don’t like daylight savings? If you hate daylight so much maybe you should just live in the darkness at the bottom of a well. You know who likes darkness? Bane...and vampires.

Here’s a totally comprehensive list of 30 reasons why Perth desperately needs daylight savings. NOW!

  1. Because Sydney and Melbourne will respect us more. I just don’t feel like they do right now…and that hurts.
  2. To prove Perthians aren’t scared of change. It turns out Sunday trading and small bar licenses didn’t give us super herpes like we feared it would.
  3. To show those daylight-saving-fearing baby boomers that we don’t belong at the kids table anymore. I’m a big girl now grandma, stop dressing me like a dolly!
  4. All dark and no sun makes Perth a dull boy.
  5. Tanning beds are illegal now and the leatherbacks at Swanbourne beach need more tan time.
  6. Because seeing who makes it to work on time on the first day of daylight savings separates the weak from the strong.
  7. Because we can go out after work without the very real risk of vampire attacks.
  8. Gonna find my baby gonna hold her tight gonna get some afternoon delight…at 7pm!
  9. We will save electricity by using less lighting in the mornings and evenings. Or do you hate the environment?
  10. Fewer car accidents because of improved visibility. Or do you hate life? Is that it? 
  11. We are more likely to go for an after-work jog than a post-work drink. Mmm health.
  12. We will drink in sunny beer gardens after work when we decide to skip the post-work jog. Beer gardens are cool.
  13. Daylight savings scares off sharks probably.
  14. Less time spent with serial killers in the dark.
  15. Because right now the sun sets pretty much straight after you leave work. F%$k you cruel world. That’s just unfair.
  16. Every time you call the Sydney office they are at lunch or have left for the day. Do they actually exist?
  17. Sunscreen sales would skyrocket. That’s probably good.
  18. Those people with those hats with solar panels and a built in fan. Finally, their time has come.
  19. Because daylight savings is the only way to get the monster population under control.
  20. Some of us may get super powers from the extra Vitamin D. Good super powers—like maths.
  21. You are more likely to be able to watch a scary movie the whole way through if it’s full daylight outside. 
  22. Murderers hate daylight savings. Are you a murderer?
  23. Probably violent dictators hate daylight savings. Are you a violent dictator?
  24. Your Mum will have more time to do your laundry after work.
  25. More time for beach selfies.
  26. More sun = increased endorphins = happier people = world peace. So, world peace.
  27. More cars with fully sick dark window tint.
  28. Because some sick part of me wants to see what happens to cows during daylight savings for realsies.
  29. Manipulating time makes me feel like a wizard.
  30. The Mother of Dragons demands it.

Looking for things to do in Perth? Look here!

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