Christmas means Lindt Balls, drunk rellies and writing your brother’s name on your mum’s Christmas card even though he did shit all to help buy it, but it also means pork crackling, and lots of it. When it comes to Christmas lunch, you can basically forget about the Chrissie food because all hangs on the crispy pork rind. Is Gran gonna get wasted and yell at your mum for using homebrand vegetable oil? Not if the pork crackling’s good. Is your dad gonna bail on the dishes, watch the cricket and make your mum cry? Not if the pork crackling’s good. Is the dog going to sniff out the Cadbury stockings in the good room, eat them all and vomit under the Christmas tree? Again, not if the pork crackling’s good.
So, here’s how to make insane pork crackling at home.
- 24cm piece of pork rind (about 500g), scored
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil
- 2-3 teaspoons sea salt or table salt
- Put your phone on Do Not Disturb mode and watch Love Actually on the couch with a box of Ferrero Rochers. The crackling won’t taste good unless you feel good.
- Pop to the shops for the ingredients, the Favourites Boxes will probably be half price so get one of those too.
- Head home, Chromecast Destiny’s Child’s ‘8 Days of Christmas’ album to the telly and preheat the oven to 220C (fan-forced).
- Place the crackling rind-side up onto a rack over a shallow baking dish. Brush that hunk of meat well with the olive oil and sprankle generously with salt.
- Roast that bad boy for 40 to 50 minutes, or until the surface gets bubbly and the rind becomes golden and crispy. Let it cool for 5 minnies, then cut it into delicious, bite-size hunks with a pair of kitchen scissors (trust me, these are different to craft scissors).
- Instagram a picture of your crispy pork crackling creation with the hashtag #alliwantforchristmasisporkcrackling.
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Image credit: Irene Diaz