Funny

5 of the Weirdest Hangover Cures

By Megan Osborne - 31 Dec 2014

Whether you call this season silly, festive or just downright party-time, it’s fair to say there will be (or has been for most of you!) a lot of general celebrating. And why the heck not! We all love a good par-tay, and what better time of year to do it? 

But here’s the crunch—work starts up again soon, and you’re still sporting a hangover from two nights ago, let alone the ripper you’re gonna have tomorrow on New Years Day! We’ve already shared with you our tips on how to hide a hangover, but what about something more? A miraculous, ingenious hangover cure?

All ears you say? Well calm your farm, Listers. Because while this may be a list of hangover cures, please note the extremely important and very much operative word… WEIRDEST. These are the funkiest of the fables, the meatiest of the myths. And we have absolutely zero scientific knowledge on the actual effectiveness of ANY of the below suggestions.*

*All facts found via the inter-webs, digest as you see fit.

However, for the brave and courageous, or simply those desperate enough to do anything to get rid of that banging headache and nausea, here’s some ideas on how to cure a hangover. Go on, we dare you.

CONSUMING DRIED BULL PENIS

Otherwise known as ‘Pizzle’, this Italian remedy is said to be a great hangover cure. No, this is not a farce. And not a totally outdated method either. In 2008, the Beijing Olympics supplied Pizzle for their Chinese athletes* as it’s said to increase stamina. 
*Totally based on rumour, but you never know, maybe those gymnasts cleaned up due to their steady diet of bull genitals.

DRINKING BUFFALO MILK

Despite the title, this cure involves not actually drinking buffalo milk at all. Say wha? The drink is called Buffalo Milk, but really it’s just clotted cream, dark rum, spiced rum, cream liqueur and whole cream (with all the dairy coming from cows, not the dear little buffalo). Originating in Namibia (supposedly), this rich and frothy concoction will probably not have you recovering from a case of the woozy, and more likely have you yelling ‘MILK WAS A BAD CHOICE!’

TOMATO JUICE WITH A RAW EGG

Good ol’ America has been winning Australian’s hearts left, right, and centre lately, with a culinary takeover of American BBQ restaurants. We love a good slider, burger and ribs joint, but we’re not so sure about their take on a hangover cure—unless the aim is to make you want to never drink again, the experience is so, well, nasty. Called the ‘Prairie Oyster’, this liquid combo includes tomato juice, one raw egg, a tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce, salt, black pepper, and two dashes of Tabasco. Yeah, we guess tomato juice is rich in vitamin C (which apparently helps your liver to detoxify faster), and yes, eggs are full of protein and an amino acid called cysteine (which is also supposed to rev up Mr Liver). But you know what? Why don’t you just eat them separately? And cooked! Too logical? Sorry, forgot the memo for a second about this being a list of WEIRD hangover cures!

BANANA MILKSHAKES

Bananas are a high source of potassium which can be soothing to the stomach, and great for aching muscles. Combined with milk, this concoction is said to increase your vitamin B levels that get depleted after a night drinking. Sure, this one isn’t so weird, until you contemplate actually downing a frothy, fruity bad boy when you’re visualising bringing it all back up. Mmm, fresh.

RUB LEMON ON YOUR ARMPITS

That’s right, this hangover cure suggests that you rub sliced lemon on your armpits—but make sure to do it the night before! Apparently you’ll wake up sans-hangover! However, when we tried googling this mad myth, we came up with a whole range of scary beauty products and DIY ‘armpit whitening’ techniques, that we simply can’t un-see. So sure, if you’re feeling up for a challenge, try this wacky remedy. If nothing else, maybe someone will comment on your stunningly fresh aroma?

So that’s it, Listers. Our list of weird hangover cures to digest or impart to a ‘dear’ friend as you see fit! We’ll leave you with this one little gem of knowledge that we discovered in our incredibly scientific and thought out research (sarcasm): It seems that one of the most popular (and some say effective) cures for a ripper hangover is a good ol’ big brekkie! We’ll drink to that! Or rather, we’ll drink just so we can have an excuse for a big breakfast the next morning! 

Image Credit: The Box

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