Cooked It | How To Make The Best Guacamole In The World

By Millie Lester
21st Mar 2018


This is a VERY important recipe for anyone who either a) entertains a lot, or b) is a human being who consumes solids. Described as the sliced bread of our generation, guacamole is the best received guest at any dinner party, house party or slumber party. That’s why making a bloody good one is so important.

Fortunately for you, we’ve tracked down the best guac recipe in modern existence and have [begrudgingly] decided to release it to the public, because every shindig deserves a top guac.

Here’s how to make the best guacamole in the world.


  • 200g corn chips or totopos
  • 2 avocados
  • 3 tomatoes
  • 1 small onion
  • 1 jalapeno
  • 1/4 bunch of coriander
  • 1 tbsp of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp of lime juice


  1. Pop to the shops for the ingredients, check if Boost Bars are on special for $1, get one (seven) regardless
  2. Head home and watch an entire season of Will & Grace in bed with two packets of Mi Goreng and a can of Diet Coke—you’ve earned it.
  3. Start dicing the tomatoes, onion and single jalapeno.
  4. Chop the coriander up until it’s nice and fine.
  5. Grab those avos and give them a mash before then combining them with the oil, lime juice and the other diced ingredients.
  6. Pop the whole lot in a bowl (or several very small bowls if you’ve got the kind of friends who can drink entire cheese platters in seven seconds) and serve it with a packet of plain Doritos, or alternatively some authentic ‘totopos’ if Mum’s coming for tea.
  7. Instagram a picture with the hashtag #mouthwateringreactsonly.

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