Funny

We’ll Tell You What Car You Drive By Which Brisbane Suburb You Live In

By Catherine Blake - 13 Oct 2017

Wherever you are in Brisbane, the kind of car you drive is just as important in revealing character as what school you went to, so we thought we’d shine a light on the city’s transitive pods and see what they reveal about us.

There’s nothing we love more than an unreliable insight based on demographic clichés and over-generalisations, hence we bring you our comprehensive guide to Brisbane’s wagons and the suburbs you’ll find them in.

Ascot

A bronze 2017 Tesla Roadster with a Fendi tote on the passenger seat and a parking ticket under the wiper.

Brookfield

A brown and white Mustang standing at 15 hands high and named after a member of the Beatles.

Bulimba

A Range Rover with a busted taillight and a box of scented candles on the backseat that need to be returned to IKEA.

Carindale

A Toyota hybrid with worry beads hanging from the rear view mirror and a disapproving grandmother riding shotgun.

CBD

A BMW in a reserved car park that is completely empty except for a bunch of spreadsheets and a sales receipt from RM Williams.

Chelmer

A Mercedes G-Class with ‘My Family’ stickers on the back and a yoga mat in the boot next to an emergency carton of coconut water.

East Brisbane

A red VW Golf with three boxes of Italian mineral water, a wheel of Parmesan, an entire leg of ham and a 7L tin of olive oil in the boot.

Fortitude Valley

A 2003 Holden Commodore with 18 bumper stickers and a half-eaten doughnut in the glove box.

Indooroopilly

A black 2016 Lexus GX 570 with an almond milk latte in the cup holder and evidence of exactly one child who always cleans up after themselves.

New Farm

A Hyundai i30 with a mess of jacaranda flowers on the bonnet and up to nine pairs of shoes floating around in the back.

Nundah

A Ford Escape with hill-start assist, two booster seats and Tommee Tippee sun screens over the backseat windows.

Paddington

A 1974 aquamarine VW Kombi with an ad for artisanal wind chimes on the side and Akadama soil all over the floor.

South Brisbane

A matte black Jeep Wrangler with a ‘BAD BOI’ personalised plate and So Fresh Summer 2001 blasting through the subwoofer.

Teneriffe

A MINI S 3-Door Hatch with a smatter of Labradoodle hair on the seats and the lingering smell of brunch. 

West End

A purple six-gear Cannondale with a wooden crate strapped to the back.

Woolloongabba

A 2006 Ford Falcon Ute XR6 Cab Chassis with Tibetan prayer flags hanging off the back of the tiger tray.

If you don't really care (but have read up to here anyway—good for you), here's some awesome day trips to take around Brisbane in your wagon.

Image credit: Ben Tyres

Our best stories, direct to your inbox, helping you to out-trend your mates every weekend...

Tags:

Funny

You May Also Like