32 Things Your Waitress Wishes You’d Stop Doing

By Ellen Seah
10th Sep 2016

Together, we can make the hospitality world a better place.

1. Clicking your fingers.

2. Writing an imaginary cheque in the air, accompanied with indignant eyebrows and an impatient twitch.

3. Ordering coffee that’s more than five words long.

4. Ordering coffee with stupidly specific fractions like a quarter of a teaspoon and a third of a shot.

5. Ordering an “extremely” dry cappuccino. It’s an adult babyccino.

6. Checking if something is decaf, for the fifth time.

7. Talking on the phone while you order.

8. Texting on the phone while you order.

9. Just anything phone related, thanks.

10. Specifically calling us over to order, only to decide that your entire table doesn’t actually know what they want and making us wait there like a smiling twit until you decide.

11. Not letting us leave and “come back in a few minutes” while you get your life in order.

12. Asking us to turn the music down/off. IT’S OUR ONLY SOURCE OF HAPPINESS, ALRIGHT?

13. Complaining about the lack of vegan/vegetarian/healthy options.

14. Complaining about the lack of burger/fries/milkshake options.

15. Asking us to check with the chef.

16. Double-checking that we checked with the chef (hint: we probably didn’t).

17. Asking to make 17 changes to a dish.

18. Especially when the menu states “no changes”.

19. Making a fuss because you can’t make said 17 changes.

20. Making changes to a dish and then complaining about the taste.

21. Letting your children run free like wild rats.

22. Letting your children crawl on the floor.

23. Bringing unruly children.

24. Asking where your food is after five minutes, then proceeding to follow up in ten-minute intervals.

25. Stacking your empty plates. We know you’re just trying to be helpful, but it actually makes clearing your table about three times more difficult.

26. Asking for recipes. No, you can’t have them.

27. Asking for something while we’re partway through carrying another table’s food order.

28. Staying for more than two hours when you’ve only ordered a coffee.

29. Staying for ages, when there’s clearly people waiting.

30. Staying past closing time. When we say “it’s alright” we’re being friendly because we have to.

31. Asking to split the bill seven ways.

32. Placing your cash/card on the counter when our hand is already out, like we’re some kind of infectious being.

Already guilty of a few of these? Perhaps you should read seven things your bartender wishes you’d stop doing next.

This article previously appeared on our sister site, The Urban List

Get our top stories direct to your inbox.

Get our top stories direct to your inbox.