Funny

50 Things You Can Do In Brisbane With 50c

By Catherine Blake - 26 Jul 2016

Things To Do Brisbane

You thought it was just light reflecting off the pavement until a closer look revealed a shiny miniature portrait of the Queen’s profile. Your eyes glaze over as you realise that the concept of being 50c short no longer applies to you, and suddenly all the ways a little coin could improve your day come flooding forth. You have essentially just been paid for doing absolutely nothing —this is the first step of the Kardashian lifestyle you always dreamed of! What’s next? Stumbling across errant bricks of bullion? Whole property portfolios landing in your lap? The possibilities are endless!

When life gives you free stuff there is no time for flippant spending. Here is a best-use manual for getting the most out of your shrapnel:

  1. Stand around looking boss on a street corner.
  2. Hit up Officeworks for a slick new Artline Smooth ballpoint pen
  3. Treat yourself to a brand new pencil to brighten up your box.
  4. Level-up: get extra soy for your sushi roll.
  5. ‘Can I have that on Zymil?’ Yep. 
  6. Parking meter doesn’t take card? Worry not, these three minutes are taken care of. 
  7. Test the limits of your stomach capacity and add two extra wings to your bucket at Bourbon Street on a Monday evening.
  8. Set it on a roll and race it to the bottom of a hill. 
  9. Trace a perfect dodecagon.
  10. Caress it gently every time someone annoys you and imagine what life would be like if you were Harvey Dent. 
  11. Tip a bellboy from the 1940s. 
  12. Have the Uber drop you right at the door and save yourself a 20 metre walk.
  13. Get some more ranch or sour cream at PJ’s Steaks
  14. Buy a fresh AF potato direct from the grower at the Jan Power’s Farmers Market.
  15. …or a tomato.
  16. Wear it like a monocle and insist on being called Lord Copper.
  17. Take it to the Candy Shop.
  18. Pick up a packet of poprocks from Tom’s Confectionery Warehouse and snort it in the carpark. 
  19. Put it with a pre-existing 10c and buy a concession stamp at the Post Office. 
  20. Pimp your Macca’s soft serve with a Cadbury Flake.
  21. Cast a wish in a public pool.
  22. Chuck a cheeky red frog on top of your grocery haul. 
  23. Play a viciously competitive game of ‘Heads or Tails’ with a gang of youths. 
  24. Request an extra ramekin of sauce with your breakfast.
  25. Print out a couple of pages in indulgent colour at the State Library, just to give your report that little something extra.
  26. Offload a little goodwill to a charity bucket.
  27. …Or a person in need 
  28. Be a devil, get that extra 450ml of Unleaded. 
  29. Leave it on the pavement in the midday sun until it melts down into raw materials you can hawk. 
  30. Flog it to a tourist for eight times its value in foreign money.
  31. Put a minimum bet on a horse at the TAB. Potential fat stacks to be made. Potentially.
  32. Misplace it in your bag and spend 4 minutes holding up the queue at Hoyt’s as you rummage around for it. 
  33. Superglue it to a step and laugh from a safe distance when anyone tries to pick it up.
  34. Give it to a small child who will appreciate the hell out of it.
  35. Put it with all the loose change in your glovebox to be used for drive-thru purchases from the Loose Change Menu.
  36. Support the dairy farmers of Australia and buy the slightly more expensive milk.
  37. If it is one of the rare and coveted 50 cent coins that is ROUND, post it on eBay.
  38. Upgrade your cookies from Arnott’s Farmbake to Arnott’s Premium.
  39. Use it as an example for how bad inflation has gotten since the 90s. 
  40. Top up your best mate’s vending machine purchase, then bank the favour until you’ve got to move a dead body.
  41. Take it to Merlos from 2-3pm and flip it for a chance to get a free coffee.
  42. …or Cartel Coffee on Adelaide Street.
  43. Use it to pry up gum on the footpath and restore the pavements to their pristine glory. 
  44. Make a jingle in a busker’s hat.
  45. Given that its composition is mostly copper, you could probably use it to harness an electrical current from a lightning storm by tying it to the string of a kite. 
  46. Slip it into a bag of chocolate coins at Coles and make someone’s day.
  47. Let fate help you discover your city. Start walking in any direction and every time you come to an intersection flip heads to go right and tails to go left. 
  48. Swing by Chouquette and try one of their namesakes. Just one, mind. 
  49. Sew it into the lining at the bottom of your tie to keep it from flapping around in the wind. 
  50. Use it to stop a table from wobbling eeeever so slightly. 

Image credit: New Orleans

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