32 Things You Need To Buy Your Pets This Christmas

By Millie Lester
5th Dec 2016

Let’s be honest, you haven’t given a single thought as to what you’re buying your mum for Christmas this year, right? How about those family members who can't physically tell you what they want, but can physically tear up an entire lounge suite in one hour?

Here's what you NEED to buy your beloved pet for Christmas this year.

1. Step out in style with this Dogbrella | $16.20

2. Transform your dog into a classy biatch with this must-have Nail Pawlish | $10.80

3. Make your dog hate you forever (in style) with this Double-Breasted Tuxedo With Tails | $5

4. Let your dog know he's earned his spot at the dinner table with this Doggy High Chair | $55.40

5. Give your pooch the freedom it deserves (and your neighbours the constant surveillance they require) with this Pet Peek Fence Window | $42.90

6. If you love your dog, you'll buy it the Bubbletastic Bacon Bubble Blower | $33.70

7. Make a statement with this Wedding Chapel Dog House that costs more than a 2016 Ford Fiesta | $30,000

8. Sink a froffie with the boiz (dogz) with this Beer for dogs | $9

9. Don't be that guy with the dirty mutt on the train, buy your pet this year's must-have Sexy Beast Dog perfume | $65.50

10. Has your Schnauzer had a 'plentiful' Spring season? Buy them this Doggie Treadmill | $878

11. Has your dog grown out of last year's turtleneck? Surprise him with this Cashmere sweater & blanket set | $202.65

12. Let your cat lay some phresh trax down with this Kitty DJ Deck | $59.95

13. Your cat can be anything it wants to be with this Inflatable Unicorn Horn | $8.15

14. Take your kitty anywhere, and make all of its claustrophobic nightmares come true, with this Astronaut Backpack Capsule | $82.85

15. After a hard day sleeping in the office, treat little Tinkles to a nice bottle of Pinot Meow from Apollo Peak | $11.95

16. Put an involuntary smile on your pooch's dial with this Humunga Chomp ball toy | $16.20

17. Make sure the entire web never misses one of your dog's whitty one-liners with this Puppy Tweets | $12.15

18. Feel like you and your dog aren't connecting anymore? You need The Bowlingual Bark Translator | $81

19. Can't afford to de-sex your new puppy yet but are sick to death of it violating everything you own, buy them this Hot Doll mating toy | $271.35

20. Fake testicular implants for the dog who needs to feel like a 'real' animal again - Neuticles | $147.20

21. Hate picking up your dog's wet poop? Freeze it still with Poop Freeze to pick up dry poo instead | $21.75

22. Explore the fun side of feline defecation and treat yourself to the Turd Burglar | $17.55

23. Basically, the whole world is ruled by cats; show your kitten your commitment to eternal servitude with a Chairman Meow-approved Purebread Political Propaganda T-shirt | $32.40

24. Does you dog hate pooping in the rain? He needs the Poop Tent | $13.50

25. Sick of explaining to your Labrador that Fitbits are for humans? Not anymore, buy him a Dog Pedometer | $14.95

26. Does your pet hate long walks on the beach? But them a Pet Stroller  so they never have to take a step again | $100

27. Sick of picking up your dog's faeces? Buy them the PooTrap so it never has to hit the pavement again | $51.30

28. Praise Jesus, it's a Christmas miracle! Train your cat to use the human toilet in no less than 8 weeks thanks to the Litter Kwitter | $87.85

29. Are UV rays destroying your dog's sight? You need Doggles | $45

30. Worried your dog might be an idiot? Make sure with the Pooch IQ Kit | $83.75

31. Sick to death of waking up to barking every morning? Install the Doggy Doorbell | $39

32. Does your politically-aligned dog already own every plush toy at Pet Barn? Buy your pooch this Saddam Hussein dog toy | $9.45

Image credit: Pitter Patter Furry Feet

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