Funny

28 Reasons Why Being Single Is Awesome

By Catherine Blake - 07 May 2016

The perks of having a special someone are obvious and universal (tax breaks, the comforting security of a perennial plus one, rubbing your happiness in your ex’s face etc.) and I must admit the thought of companionship and the promise of a long and happy future sure revs my engine.

But being single is awesome.

When I was 17 my mother dropped some truth on me. She said “One hundred years ago you’d be married with a family—find your own way to school”. Ever since then I have revelled in this buggy, modern age and the ease with which I may flounder in the innumerable benefits of singularity.

Here is a 28-strong taster as to why remaining unattached is just as fulfilling as finding your kindred spirit and showing Pablo Neruda what real passion looks like:

1. Wandering around your house in novelty underwear is an immediate liberty you don’t have to invest years into a relationship to enjoy.

2. Crumbs in bed? Crumbs in schmed.

3. You can speculate about the names of your future children and the table decorations for your ideal wedding without making anyone uncomfortable.

4. The total cost of going for a movie, expensive dinner, or toboggan ride is cut in half.

5. You can have as much promiscuous sex as you want, with anyone you want.

6. Netflix and chill literally means just Netflix and chill.

7. Impromptu trips to Vietnam are just another way to brighten a rainy day.

8. The absolute freedom to watch your favourite shows whenever you want. Sometimes at 2am.

9. Bulk and uninterrupted spooning for you and Tiddles.

10. The colour of the drapes is exactly what colour YOU wanted.

11. Where to go for Christmas lunch is the easiest decision you’ll ever make.

12. You can roll over in bed as many times as you like and no one will complain.

13. Self-sufficiency hangs about you like a glittery shawl for people to marvel at everywhere you go.

14. A three-way with two perfect strangers is a totally feasible end to your Friday night.

15. The lack of a readily available second opinion makes you a wizard at snap decisions.

16. As an emotionally independent rock you can garner a following of hapless fools and gradually foster them into a cult of pastry chefs.

17. You know exactly who is responsible for not screwing the lid back on the milk properly.

18. Wanna buy a puppy? Go right ahead.

19. Total dominion over the bathroom mirror at all times.

20. You can stay out until 3am, crash on Sophie’s couch, go to brunch in last night’s clothes, and come home a full 24 hours after you left and there will be no one reprimanding you when you walk in the door.

21. Need to pick a movie? Your suggestion always wins.

22. You’ll never fail to pay a bill or feed the cat because you thought the other person was going to do it.

23. Making plans is a snap when the only schedule you have to worry about is your own.

24. All the extra time you’ve saved by not sending those “love you too” texts can be put towards finishing that novel you’ve been working on.

25. No one feels entitled to half your breakfast if it’s better than what they ordered.

26. The ability to pass on any subversive rivalry with the showy power couple at a dinner party.

27. Your friends complain that they see TOO much of you.

28. If you forget to shave nobody has to know.

Did we miss anything? Hit us up!

 

Photo Credit: Bridget Jones

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