34 Things Every Gold Coast Local Has Said At Some Point

By Sally Coates
1st Feb 2016

NB: Please read the following in a David Attenborough voice…

Gold Coasters have become quite the perceived cliché—tanned, beautiful people with blonde hair and low IQs, but they’re so much more than that. You can only really get inside the mind of a local by being a local, but this, my friends, is the next best thing.

Let Metropolist present you with 34 things every Gold Coast local has said at some point. Fascinating creatures they are…

1. To anyone who tells you they’re moving house: “Oh cool, so what side of the highway are you moving to?”

2. (8am) “Want to do the Burleigh Headland walk this afternoon?” “YES!”

3. (4pm) “Should we just get takeaway Justin Lane and sit on Burleigh Hill instead?” “YASS!”

4. “I’m thinking of not drinking next month…”

5. “Look, there’s the Mermaid Beach Running Man!”

6. “Chirn Park? WTF, I’ve never heard of Chirn Park!?”

7. From Friday to Sunday, “FML, there is no way we’re going to get a park at Burleigh.”

8. “I can tell the coffee here is going to be good. Check out the beard and the full sleeve on that barista.”

9. “Do you reckon I can get in wearing thongs?”

10. “This year we’re totally learning how to surf!”

11. “Oh, you’ve never climbed Mount Warning? It’s a must.” (You’ve actually never climbed it.)

12. “I wonder if we’ll get a table at Brooklyn Depot?” “Well did you book?” “No…”

13. “That red light camera hasn’t been working for years, you’re fine…”

14. “Okay, I’ll come to the Arc… just a couple though.”

15. “OMG, is that Mick Fanning?”

16. “Sorry, I don’t think I can come… I’m not dressed hipster enough to go to Elsewhere.”

17. “Am I getting burnt? Okay, just 20 minutes more.”

18. “What school did you go to?”

19. “Robina or Pac Fair?”

20. “Oh, you haven’t been to Halcyon House yet?” *Insert judgey look*

21. “OMG, I think I saw that guy on Tinder! Awks…”

22. “Do you have organic, low-fat coconut milk? Umm, actually, never mind, I’ll just have a salted caramel milkshake.”

23. “I swear Broadbeach Blues fest was just on, like… a month ago.”

24. “I can’t even remember the last time I went to Dreamworld; we should totally go!”

25. “I’m seriously considering doing the Gold Coast Marathon this year.”

26. “F*cking GC600 bogans.”

27. “Okay, maybe building the light rail wasn’t the worst idea…”

28. “Umm… Since when has there been two-hour parking along the beach in Broadbeach? I’m definitely contesting that fine.”

29. “Ermahgerd, Uber is soooo much better than a taxi.”

30. “When are the Commonwealth Games? Next year?”

31.  “No U-turn hey, we’ll see about that…”

32. “So, do you paddle across the seaway, or catch the ferry?”

33. “YASS! We should totally do a Byron trip this weekend.”

34. “F*cking schoolies.”


Photo Credit: Brooke Darling for Metropolist

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