We have so much to be thankful for on the Gold Coast: gorgeous landscapes, nightlife aplenty, beautiful people, constant development, and so much opportunity.
But even when things are grand, there’s always going to be those little things that annoy you about your place of residence. It’s like when you have a partner and you mostly love everything about them, but there’s those niggling things that make you want to iron their shirt while it’s still on their body.
So we’ve compiled a list of things that will annoy you if you’re from the Gold Coast, no matter how much you love the place.
1. When outsiders still stereotype you as hot, blonde, tanned, and tattooed just ‘cause you’re from the Gold Coast, but there’s so much more to you!
2. When you’re actually pale, chubby, and don’t fit the stereotype at all.
3. When you get the once-every-five-year urge to go to a theme park and feel cheated for having to wait in line, ‘cause it’s your turf.
4. Getting excited for a massive storm that’s been so hyped by Channel 7 that there’s no UHT milk left in the supermarkets, only to have it hit with the severity of a two-dollar shop water pistol.
5. Wanting to try every Burleigh breakfast joint but realising they’re multiplying at a rate faster than you can keep up with.
6. With fitness culture so huge, when you feel bad for swallowing a burger whole at Easy Street and secretly detesting the taste of kale.
7. When people make fun of Surfers Paradise’s Princess Dave.
8. When half of the Gold Coast’s population spends three hours stuck in traffic daily getting to and from work in Brisbane.
9. When half of Brisbane’s population descends on us whenever the sun is out.
10. When we get all the massive tourist events like Schoolies and GC600 (FML), but get overlooked by pretty much every major music festival and international artist tour.
11. When that one friend decides to have their birthday at Sin City. (Srsly, WTF?)
12. Driving along the Gold Coast Highway and hitting Every. Single. Red. Light. Gah.
13. When you know you’re never going to get a park at Burleigh on a Saturday morning or Nobbys on a Friday night.
14. When an awesome new cafe opens its doors but they don’t have homemade, unsweetened almond milk—you call yourselves hipsters?!
15. Making small talk about the weather when the temps drop below 25 degrees.
16. Meeting someone new, only to find out they actually slept with your best friend, sold your sister her car, and used to work with your entire touch footy team.
17. Hearing “Oh, so you must know Davo then?” as a response when confessing wherever you went to school.
18. Getting lost trying to leave the Pacific Fair car park.
19. How the GC’s constant developments turn your whole life upside down; first the tram, next Pac Fair upgrades, now the Commonwealth Games. Let us live!
20. Owning heaps of cute winter clothes but only having them see the light of day for two days out of 365.
21. Not being able to abuse any of the cheap food or drinks nights because you know you’ll be lining up behind a billion uni students or backpackers. Melbas and Waxy’s $2 steak nights, anyone?
22. Never leaving the house without seeing someone you know.
23. Getting extremely confused about daylight savings, every single year.
24. How everything is so spread out and you have to get in your car to get to the next suburb.
25. Getting stuck in a traffic snarl on the M1 only to find the cause of the delay is everyone rubber necking at a broken down car pulled off on the curb.
26. When people say “I just feel like the Gold Coast has so little culture, you know? Not like Melbourne or Brisbane.” We have acai bowls and organic coffee, if that’s not culture, then what is?
27. Driving that far southern stretch of Bermuda Street, before the M1, and thinking you’ve got a punctured tire. Every freakin’ time.
28. If you live in Oxenford and want to go for a night out at Nobbys, you already know you’ll be selling a kidney to afford the Uber home.
29. That intersection on Bundall Road where you can’t turn right, so you have to wait at the lights, turn left, wait to do a U-turn, finally do a U-turn, wait at the lights again, then eventually earn the privilege to Ashmore Road.
30. For high-rise apartment dwellers, those awkward elevator trips with innocent families during holiday season.
31. Whenever paid parking is introduced somewhere it never used to be. You did this Brisbane!
32. Knowing if you get asked on a date there’s a good chance they’ll suggest mini golf or pizza on Burleigh Hill.
33. Falling in love with a hipster beer then never being able to find it again anywhere.
34. Plover season. That is all.
Photo Credit: Brooke Darling for Metropolist