Here at Metropolist we’re big believers in the idea: “Do whatever makes you happy.” And to many of us, that’s carbs, cheese, meat, sugar, and fat, AKA the binge eater’s food pyramid.
This foodie happiness might come in the form of eating through your feelings (both happy and sad), a cheat day, a total lack of self-discipline or just a love for good, whole-hearted food. But when the feeling strikes, you gotta know where to go!
So, read on for our pick of the best, most indulgent and fattest feeds in Surfers Paradise for when you’re ready to either treat or torture your body.
Brooklyn Depot—Cheese and Gravy Poutine Fries
How can thy describe thine poutine fries, eh? Think cheese, gravy and deep-fried potato. If heaven does exist, it’s floating around gulping down Brooklyn Depot’s poutine fries, Homer-Simpson-in-space style. Crispy, fresh, hot fries covered in the perfect concoction of creamy cheese and rich, slightly-salty gravy. This glorious fatty feed is possibly the most satisfying side ever, but there’s no shame in ordering extra and calling it your main.
Where: The 4217, 10 Beach Road, Surfers Paradise
House of Brews—Pulled Pork Burger with Fries
We’re not sure when pulled pork became such a necessity for life but House of Brews’ Pulled Pork Burger will make you wonder how you ever lived life without it. That fantastic marriage of slow-cooked, barbeque sauce-soaked pork and creamy slaw creates a relationship saucier than your Sunday morning gossip sesh. Team it with some thick-cut fries which you’ll use to mop up that excess BBQ sauce and it’s a match made in heaven and a food baby made in hell.
Where: 17 Orchid Avenue, Surfers Paradise
Hurricane’s Grill—Pork Ribs
There are three things in life that are hard to find—good friends, good hairdressers, and good ribs. So when you’re ready to cover your hands and face in gooey saucy goodness, wear an adult bib and unleash your inner caveman, the only spot in Surfers to do it is at Hurricane’s Grill. No side salad rubbish, you know that’s just for show. Just meat, sauce, fingers, and slurping noises; eye contact is strictly forbidden.
Where: 1/4—14 The Esplanade, Surfers Paradise
La Porchetta—Chicken Parmigiana
We’re willing to bet that the first words first-timers utter at La Porchetta on receiving their parmi is “Holy sh*t. These parmis are MASSIVE!” Think of a standard car tyre, that’s approximately the size of one of these parmis. Now couple that with rich tomato sauce, ham and plenty of melted cheese and you’ve got yourself a fatty feed. Amazing value and you always know what you’re going to get, just don’t eat for a few days in advance, and don’t plan on eating for a few days after.
Where: 18—22 Orchid Avenue, Surfers Paradise
Oliver Brown—Chocolate Fondue
Nothing says the “diet starts tomorrow” like chocolate for dinner at Oliver Brown. So if you’re going to do it, do it right! Chocolate, strawberries, banana, marshmallow, and pretzels—‘cause you’ve got a pretty fancy palate.
Where: Soul Boardwark, 4 The Esplanade, Surfers Paradise
Stingray Bar and Lounge—Onion Rings
You know when you’ve had a couple of drinks and an appetite to eat anything and everything just rises from within you, like a bear coming out of hibernation?! Well, usually you’re not thinking macros and that’s lucky because Stingray Bar has both food and drinks for you, you animal. Because your choices are usually pretty odd in this boozy state, go the onion rings with aioli. Now you might argue that onion rings are healthy because, technically, they’re a vegetable. We appreciate that logic so, go ahead, order four tacos, a quesadilla and the nachos as well—you’ve earned it.
Where: QT Hotel, 7 Staghorn Avenue, Surfers Paradise
Pancakes in Paradise—Pancake Stack
It’s absolutely ridiculous that a place called Pancakes in Paradise serves anything other than pancakes; so don’t be tempted by the other food offerings on the menu. Pancakes is what you came to destroy! And you’re obviously having cream and ice cream and every other topping humanly possible.
Where: 3046 Gold Coast Highway, Surfers Paradise
Longboards Laidback Eatery—The Phat Bastard Burger
What list of Surfers Paradise’s fattest feeds would be complete without mention of Longboards’ The Phat Bastard Burger? Here you’ve got a 1.6kg burger that’s definitely not trying to fool anyone as being healthy. In fact, it’s been known to make grown men cry, vomit, and go blind (just kidding, but only about the going blind bit). This monster includes 900g of Wagyu beef, six slices of cheese, 200g of pork, eight rashers of bacon and eight onion rings on a homemade bun topped with special sauce, coleslaw, tomato, and lettuce. Think you’re ready for this?
Where: Corner Hamilton Avenue and Northcliffe Terrace, Surfers Paradise
Photo Credit: The Urban List