30 Ways To Avoid A Terrible New Year's Eve

By Ben Tyres
28th Dec 2015

The key to an excellent New Year’s Eve is always a balance between being happy-tipsy and throwing up on your New Year’s kiss at one minute past midnight.

Unfortunately for some (me included), it’s difficult to see this fine line—especially when you’re practically blind drunk.

However, there are definitely some do’s and don’ts to a successful NYE. So with that, here are some of our tips to avoid a horrendous NYE.

1. Do not wear your Sunday finest. Wear your second best dress/shirt, just in case someone goes a little too hard on the prosecco (AKA everyone’s mum).

2. Have enough canapés that you won’t flat line too quickly after you start sinking ‘em.

3. If all else fails, at least grab a quick Maccas run before the start of the festivities.

4. Get good quality alcohol—there’s nothing worse than a horrible hangover to start the new year.

5. Make sure you’re with people you actually like.

6. Including as few children as possible.

7. Also avoid the elderly (sorry folks, they’re just not as much of a riot as they used to be).

8. Don’t look for a NYE kiss at a family gathering.

9. Have a decent view of the fireworks.

10. Make sure that whoever starts the countdown is physically able to actually count down from 10.

11. Don’t make new year’s resolutions you know you won’t keep.

12. Try not to dwell on all the bad decisions you’ve made this year.

13. Don’t have insanely high expectations—you’ll be waiting in lines for a drink at a bar, and there will never be enough food.

14. A friend will most likely try to hook up with you—avoid this at all costs.

15. Think up some small talk ideas for the strangers you’ll surely meet.

16. Don’t be the designated driver.

17. Don’t think about a four-year Trump presidency.

18. Bring a jacket.

19. Bring a pair of flats/something that isn’t the Devil spawn that is high heels.

20. Convince your mum that this year you will actually start saving money.

21. Spend said savings on booze.

22. Do not hit on the bartender.

23. Do not hit on a co-worker.

24. Do not hit on someone who’s New Year’s resolution is to “find themselves”.

25. Make sure that if you have a date, they’re also your NYE kiss. Awkward.

26. If you don’t have a date, don’t stress—your parents will most likely try and set you up with someone by the end of next year, so I guess you have that to look forward to.

27. Accept your fate that you will most likely be third-wheeling for a lot of the evening.

28. Avoid large crowds if you don’t want to be crammed into a tight space with a bunch of drunk party-goers.

29. DO NOT have a party on a boat. Rocking on the waves and glugging champers from the bottle really do not mix.

30. Dance your butt off!

Get our top stories direct to your inbox.

Get our top stories direct to your inbox.