What Your Jeans Say About You

By Mona Chatskin - 07 Aug 2016

what your jeans say about you

Jeans are probably the most useful invention since sliced bread. We all buy them, wear them, and hell, some of us even stick them in our freezer. But do the jeans maketh the (wo)man? We’re here to tell you what your jeans say about you.

Boyfriend Jeans

Don’t worry, gals. Just because you wear these loose-fitting jeans, it doesn’t mean you’re beholden to their name. It takes a serious trendsetter to rock these (trust me, I’ve tried and failed miserably). You’re strong, independent, and don’t need no man. You’ve got yourself some irreplaceable denim. Best bit? They won’t let you down after you eat the whole Ben and Jerry’s tub.

Skinny Jeans

Ah yes, the classic skinny jean, the most popular jean for Gen-Yers (and it’s obvious why). These babies can make just about anyone looked toned, even if they’ve recently gorged on 15 doughnuts. This one’s for minimalists that love to show off their assets, and why the hell not?! You’ll probably also be found sipping your on skinny latte while sporting those Adidas Superstars.

‘Mom’ Jeans

Although generally not referred to in the fondest way, these bad boys are making a comeback. Don’t get offended when people assume mom jeans aren’t stylish, they just don’t understand #fashun. This is the jean for the ultimate hipster. And that makes you automatically cool…right? Wear these and you’ll be sipping on every colourful latte that Melbourne has to offer in no time.

Ripped Jeans

Uh oh, we’ve got a badass over here. While jeans with rips may be 90s grunge, they also tend to elicit dad jokes – “you mean you didn’t fall and rip them accidentally?” “But did you run out of fabric?” Even though just about every basic gal wears them, you refuse to believe you’re a conformist. Instead, you wear your rips with pride – and they show the world you’ve got a little rebelliousness left in you. Even if a squillion other girls do too.

Flared Jeans

If you didn’t just come back from Splendour, why do you even own a pair of these? 2016 has been the year of the flare, and it takes a very special type of cool kid to pull these off. You ain’t afraid of taking risks and push new trends to the limit. We’d find you meandering down Brunswick Street in search of a perfect vintage jacket to match with your flares. You’re all about being #indie.


If you’re still wearing jeggings, we *strongly* recommend updating your wardrobe. These were definitely all the rage in the noughties, but it’s time to move forth and prosper. You like reminiscing for those nostalgic moments. While we commend your sense of yearning - you should use that ace memory for things worthy of your time. And jeggings, well, they should go down the same path as Myspace. 

High Waisted Jeans

Every girl has a sneaky pair of these. Whether you’re going out and need a pair to match your crop top, or you’re planning on having an epic feed (you know what we’re talking about) – these gems are a classic. You can wear them with anything and anywhere. If you’re a proud owner of high waisted jeans, you’re a practical thinker. A genius, if you will.  

Black Jeans

These are for the days you dream of wearing leggings with your sneakers, but you’re imploring yourself not to. Black jeans also make the perf companion for smart casual attire, so kudos to you for owning a pair. These jeans are perfect to show your darker, more serious side. They’re also extremely good at hiding the inevitable Friday night red wine stain.

Ankle Crop Jeans

As a short girl myself, I know that ankle crop jeans make for the perfect length pants if you’re under 5”3. Alternatively, if you aren’t a tiny human, you can wear them at their intended length – probably the much wiser/nicer option. Ankle crop jeans are great for channelling those summer vibes. You’re a free spirit with a constant desire to wonder, and they’re great to pair with those pom pom sandals!

Printed/Coloured Jeans

Ah yes, yet another style of jeans that your average girl can’t pull off. It takes a brave kinda’ soul to don these. You obvs like making a statement, and also probably like drawing some attention to yourself. Good on you. We need more loud voices in the world. While they’re definitely unique, you can also guarantee you won’t be forgotten. 

Image Credit: Unsplash

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