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Horoscopes: Your Cosmic Week Ahead

By Melanie Host - 16 May 2017

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For some of you, this week’s all sunshine, rainbows and unicorn frappes. For others, things may be a bit on the stormy side (Armageddon is coming...see below). Either way, we're here with a bit of cosmic guidance to see you through the week. Everything but the lottery numbers.

Want to know what the future holds? Read on, people. 

Taurus

You’re normally super warm and friendly, like a big warm brekky and a cuppa tea. But just like the alignment of your planets, you seem a little off your game lately. You’re having trouble opening up to people, and it’s so not like you! Everybody has trust issues sometimes, but make a mental note to share what's on your mind. 

It's not all doom and gloom. Trust us when we say this is THE place to be for sake and sushi in the CBD.

Gemini

Your birthday is coming soon, and that means you’re getting a little older and wiser… right? There’s nothing wrong with being a kid on the inside, cause you’re hella fun to be around. But if you’ve got a bunch of people mothering you, maybe it’s time to level-up at adulting.

Step up your dessert game and try the new, upsized deep fried Nutella ball dessert. D’Lishious.

Cancer

If something comes up this week that you disagree with, don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe. Even if things get ugly. A little conflict goes a long way in strengthening a relationship. No-one likes Little Miss Passive Aggressive. 

Let loose and break the tension with a workout that’s all smiles. We’ve never put workout and fun in the same sentence till we met these guys

Leo

It’s no secret that Leos love attention. But just because you haven’t been showered with compliments this week, it doesn't make you any less awesome. Maybe you could be the one dishing out the positive vibes this time...

By the way, your ruling planet (the blazing Sun) is egging you on to try this sun sparkle cheesecake. Give it a crack. 

Virgo

Uh oh, you might have been mixing with some bad company lately. It’s time you switched out your circle of friends for some new ones. We know socialising can be a drag for you, Virgos, but we believe in the power of baby steps: go to the gym and strike up a convo with a stranger. What's the worst that can happen?

We’ve heard of waterfront dining and waterfront bars, but how bout a waterfront GYM?

Libra

Libras are already charming by nature, but since your stars aligned in doubles, you’ve got DOUBLE the charm in ya! You’re just SUPER good at talking to people this week, so use it to your advantage. Smash out a whole bunch of social events and network 'til your phone runs out of space for new contacts (though that’s probably not possible…)

In addition to your long list of socials to get to, grab your mates for movie nights at the St Kilda film fest!

Scorpio

If you’re still single, then Mars and Pluto are like mum and dad just waiting for you to get your love life in order. You can’t keep mucking about or keeping it in; suck it up and TELL THAT HOTTIE YOU LIKE THEM.

And here’s a great first date idea: you and your bae can step into Cuban paradise. And it's closer than you think.

Sagittarius

Sags, you often prefer to take things as they come, but not everyone appreciates your impromptu style. This week, make the effort to plan ahead if you want to produce ace work and stay on the ball.

If everything seems to be flying over your head, master your thoughts and get in the zone with a mindfulness sesh.

Capricorn

Hey Caps, here are the two sides of this week’s coin: 1) Your planets are aligned to give you maximum efficiency this week, and 2) It might start to feel like everyone else is behind you. Instead of sitting frustrated and expecting them to catch up, maybe you could take a step back and help ‘em out.

Don’t forget to eat! Nothing beats a soupy bowl of ramen as we inch closer to winter. Or, just jump on the banh mi banh-wagon.

Aquarius

Aquarius, you little know-it-all… Instead of rattling off all the things you know, spend your time building bridges and listening to what other people have to say. Life’ll get a whole lot sweeter with stronger friendships and healthy relationships.

Plus, you can beat your sugar crave with a massive Armageddon cake or a unicorn frappucino down your system. Geddon it!

Pisces

You may THINK you’ve been open and cheerful, but lately you've been giving off intimidating and standoffish vibes to those around you. No worries, no one’s taken any offense yet. Go about your week with a new attitude and initiate a meeting with friends.

Your ruling planet Neptune says you should head to Prahran’s spanking new High Street hangout. Repeat after us: “Fish are friends, sometimes food”.

Aries

Mars and the stars tell us you’ve got a great confidence about you this week. Juggling everything like a pro, you’re even working on something major right now, and ain’t nobody’s touching your stuff, cause you’re an independent woman/man.

You know what that means. Check out this self-service wine bar.

Got nothing on tomorrow? We’ve got your Wednesday plans sorted.

Image credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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