Funny

21 Things You’ll Understand If You’re From The Lower North Shore

By Ally Parker - 08 Mar 2017

mama's buoi

Say what you want but there’s no denying the Lower North Shore is a fine lookin’ neck of the woods. From beaches and parks (swarm of Lane Cove magpies at no additional cost), to the smorgasbord that is Crows Nest, you’re a spoilt-for-choice, set-in-your-ways kind of bunch but boy, do we love you (and your active wear weekend attire). 

Here are a few things that’ll give you a heart twang or two if you call the Lower North Shore home.

  1. You’ve come to terms with the fact you’ll likely die on Military Road. Not due to an accident but because you spend all your time there #statistics. 
  2. The Lower North Shore Times has a special spot in your heart. Even if every second article is about a young achiever—the fallout of which has you beelining for the bottle-o.
  3. You know at least one set of Prue and Trude’s in Mosman or Neutral Bay. They’ve tried to push beach chic homewares on you twice. 
  4. Lane Cove Shops has slowly but surely become overrun by babies, puppies and, of no coincidence but concern nonetheless, swooping magpies. It’s a good thing they’ve got Via Napoli Pizzeria.
  5. Anyone aged 10 and under seems to be dressed exclusively in striped or nautical-themed clothing. Barring that, a full kit out from Seed. You don’t hate it. 
  6. Cammeray is just Miller Street and we’ll fight to the death our right to refer to it as such. 
  7. You’re not sure what all the fuss is about regarding Taronga Zoo.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
  8. You’ve stalled your car (or dipped a little further backwards than you’d like) on Mandolong Road at Balmoral after a long lie on the beach/glutt-sesh at The Boathouse.  
  9. Living in Artarmon appeals to you for two reasons: 1. Its proximity to Salvage Speciality Coffee and 2. It kind of sounds like a Pokémon.
  10. You’re either a Westfield Chatswood or Chatswood Chase kind of person. Never both.
  11. You’re on a first name basis with the gang at The Incinerator. Largely because you insisted they rename their Chocolate Tim Tam Shake after you smashed through it in five minutes. WINNER.
  12. Stink-eye is reserved for those using anything other than a Bugaboo if you’re a parent or Birkenstocks if you still relish disposable income. 
  13. That smug look on your face? It’s knowing you’ve scored the grassy knolls of Cremorne, Blues Point and Kirribilli. Your picnic game is LIT.
  14. “How do you sleep at night?” is answered by, “Fine, so long as we don’t live on the Pacific Highway”.
  15. You told someone you were taking them to Laneway, and couldn’t understand their disappointment when you popped into Laneway Café. Their Good Morning Burger has a hash brown in it!
  16. You’ve risked blindness by starring at parking signs to make sure, really sure, that you’re really, truly allowed to park there. Especially in North Sydney.
  17. Crows Nest is a mecca of food and wine with restaurant and bar options that would spoil even the most opulent of gods. Notable mentions go to Mama’s Buoi, BahBQ and The Porch.
  18. The above bravado is greatly diminished thanks to the ageing yellow tokens at Crows Nest council parking. It’s 2016 people.
  19. Date night would not be complete without popping into Small Bar and sipping on a glass of their best red under the patio fairy lights.
  20. It’s not a Sunday unless you’re running into someone else in the same active wear getup at About Life.
  21. Feeling superior AF against your Lower North Shore compatriots who don’t live quite near enough to a train station so they must brave The Bus (especially if it’s the free Artarmon shuttle). 

All about the North? Check this out.

Image credit: Mama's Buoi | Image credit: Tanya Lee

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