Funny

21 Truths About A Sydney Winter

By Sarah Joanna Pope - 26 May 2016

bondi beach

You may think you can wear your thongs year round in Sydney—but it’s about to get chilly! So cancel your Brazilian, stock up on red wine and get your Uggs out, because winter IS coming.

Here's 21 truths about Sydney's winter.

  1. It’s an awkward kind of cold. Like, not cold enough for proper heating or quality coats. It’s a socks and sandals kind of cold.
  2. You might as well shut down Cronulla on the first cold weekend of winter. Ain’t nobody going out.
  3. Any power outages will most likely not be caused by storms, but by overuse of Netflix.
  4. It’s like Movember... but for women’s legs.
  5. Footy scarves. Footy scarves everywhere.
  6. There will be Game of Thrones memes. So many…
  7. You will enjoy one week of pure unadulterated bliss with your new flannelette sheets, before you ruin them in the wash.
  8. You will rediscover all the warm boozy drinks. Mulled wine is like a hug from the inside.
  9. So many Lancers doing fully sick drifts in puddles.
  10. There will be a mass exodus from Tinder and a surge in fluffy robe sales.
  11. You will consider wearing fingerless gloves at your desk.
  12. Everyone will drive 30km/h during the first week of rain.
  13. It’s time to ditch the salads and commence the human foie gras project.
  14. The minimum temperature last night MATTERS. Wow—minus three in Castle Hill!
  15. There will be a news story on someone in Mona Vale whose fence blew away. #wewillrebuild
  16. You can spot who is 18 on George Street by the bandage dress and lack of winter coat. Kids these days…
  17. “Sydney has a mild winter” will be heard on loop.
  18. The only livable part of your house is the small arc of space in front of your heater.
  19. It’s the time to switch to brown booze and red wine. Yeehaw!
  20. All gyms will resemble an abandoned post apocalyptic landscape.
  21. You must say “good for the farmers” every time it rains. It’s the law.

Need to get through winter and still look hot? Here's how.


Image credit: Federica Portentoso

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