When it comes to Sydney suburbs, we can all agree there are some shots that can and will be fired (Mosman’s champagne slinging inhabitants we’re looking at you*) and some that you simply don’t, unless you want to cause a Twitter-only World War III.
Which brings us nicely to the Hills District. Located somewhere north west-ish of the CBD lies this hilly suburb of rest, relaxation…
… And f**king magpies.
But we digress.
Should you ever grace this hilly land—and you should—here are a few ‘what not to says’ to carry favour with the locals.
And if you’re from the Hills, well… enjoy the LOLs.
Here are 17 things you should never say to someone from the Hills District:
1. So… You’re from Parramatta?
2. You guys all go to Hillsong right? Did you catch up with The Biebs when he was around?
3. You need to calm down about Pennant Hills Road.
4. Is Hillside the same as Hillsong? Why are you so obsessed with hills?
5. I went all the way across the harbour bridge today. I don’t think I could live farther from the CBD than Milson’s Point.
6. You must find it calming when the bus stops 300 times on the way home. Must be nice to drop someone off every hundred metres instead of walking.
7. Do you have a McMansion?
8. I walked to the shops today in less than five minutes without breaking a sweat and wait… Why are you crying?
9. Do you like living so far away?
10. Why do you call it Towers if there aren’t any towers?
11. Nah, seriously, Pennant Hills road is not that bad. And I don’t think sticking a pen in your eye is an appropriate reaction to the M2, TBH.
12. I’ve never had a panic attack/existential crisis while lost in urban sprawl.
13. Why do you guys like Gloria Jeans so much?
14. So, your dad would have voted for John Howard right?
15. I can’t remember the last time I saw my Year 10 teacher or former netball coach. Especially not at the RSL.
16. The only good cafés in the Hills are The Baron and Youeni. And even then you usually have to sit on the share tables.
17. I heard you guys were finally getting a train line. How’s that going?
*Fun fact: Mosmanites literally do drink more champagne statistically than any other suburb. Ya, fancies.
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Image Credit: Flick'r