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Horoscopes: Your Co(s)mic Week Ahead

By Julia Hammond - 28 Feb 2017



This is it. The last day of Summer is here, not that Melbourne has put on much of a summery display this year. The weather can be much like the stars—unpredictable, prone to freak events and forecasted weekly. Before you consult the weather channel, find out what the first week of Autumn has in store for your zodiac. Some of you might need to pack an umbrella.

Pisces

Your forecast is reading all sun all day this week. So, make like a frill-neck lizard and bask in that warm, autumnal glory. With both the Sun and Mercury in harmony with Pisces you can expect a lot of good things. In particular, you’re in the zone when it comes to self-promotion and the ability to outshine the competition.

Where you need to go this week: Make the most of the sun at a rooftop bar.

Aries

Got money on the mind? An epic Summer left the purse strings pulled to their max but looking back I bet it was totally worth it. If financial stress is crushing your spirits, there’s no point searching for pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. Leprechaun’s are notoriously vengeful anyway so stealing from one will only add to the list of problems.

Where you need to go this week: You can still dine fine on a budget.

Taurus

Your ruling planet—Venus—is going intro retrograde this week. The best advice we can give is not to give into insecurities as these could be your downfall. Odd fact: our astrological research uncovered that an infamous Taurus born under the Venus retrograde was Adolf Hitler. Look on the bright side Taurus, no matter what you do or how insecure you feel this week you’ll always be better than Hitler, just saying.

Where you need to go this week: Fill up on good German vibes here.

Gemini

The forecast looks a bit patchy this week Geminis, but for the most part the good times are continuing. As the sign with the most duality, it can often feel like your other half is missing. Did you know that otters sleep while holding hands so their partners don’t float away? Take a leaf out of this adorable book and do something to ground important relationships so you’ll always feel complete.

Where you need to go this week: Deep fried Nutella balls complete us.

Cancer

Harmony is the name of the game this week. You’ll be feeling a lotta love from Mercury bringing your skills in understanding others to the forefront. Think of this week as your evolution into an empathetic superhero just like Yoda, Catwoman and Captain Planet before you.

Where you need to go this week: Go and get a super healthy meal.

Leo

It’s no surprise Leo’s are often compared with lions—they’re natural born leaders. Attention sometimes comes at a price though and toward the end of this week you’ll find yourself the centre of attention. This is hardly unusual but you should still be careful of showing off, not everyone finds it an endearing quality.

Where you need to go this week: New York is calling out to you.

Virgo

Things are about to be more exciting than Beyoncé’s pregnancy announcement. It’s a new season, new you kind of thing. You’ll be in constant harmony with your ruling planet—Mercury—this week so full steam ahead on the confidence train.

Where you need to go this week: Get that edgy haircut you’ve been considering

Libra

Guess what? Venus is your ruling planet and it’s about to be retro(grade). Unlike your Taurus friends, this has good connotations. Your sign is in harmony with Venus all week so relationships will be experiencing a fun boost. Retrogrades often result in becoming reacquainted with someone or something of value.

Where you need to go this week: We value burgers and we think you should too.

Scorpio

Remember last week how there was a big crash coming? It just hit. Scorpio’s are the sign of sex and war which can make for a fascinating mix. You also happen to have two ruling planets, one of whom is Pluto. When this little guy takes over it tends more toward destructive choices. For a dwarf planet, it packs a punch. Focus on not crashing too hard or you’ll be feeling it for weeks to come.

Where you need to go this week: Find some time for bao this week.

Sagittarius

It’s a big week for ruling planets all over the zodiac. Jupiter, your fine as anything Queen, is going at it with Uranus from Thursday. This doesn’t spell magic for your tendency to think big but act bigger. In other words, you’ll be following your Queen’s lead in feeling antagonistic. When the urge to rebel kicks in, say a soothing mantra such as “cupcakes and coffee, cupcakes and coffee”.

Where you need to go this week: Cupcakes are always the answer.

Capricorn

Shout-out to all those Capricorns who leapt out of their comfort zones last week. If you didn’t manage to shirk the same old routine there’s going to be time to mix it up in Autumn. Capricorn’s element is the earth so it’s hardly surprising how grounded you are. But, like a plant with deep roots sometimes you need to grow around obstacles. This weekend the planets will be aligning in your favour so we say carpe diem.

Where you need to go this week: Indulge your inner earthy bohemian.

Aquarius

If you’re feeling less than civil towards any Sagittarius’ this week it may have something to do with the planetary war about to unfold. Your ruling planet—Uranus—is hopping in the ring with Jupiter. Try your best to stop the warrior in you from overshadowing every bit of common sense. And maybe steer clear of centaurs until this altercation is resolved.  

Where you need to go this week: Become a yoga warrior instead.

Want to stay on (food) trend? Wrap your hands around a poké bowl.

Image credit: Gabrielle Stjernqvist

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