Travelling is the best thing in the world. Filled with endless carefree nights, incredible new experiences, unforgettable places, and a lifetime of memories.
But with these memories come the people. You know the ones I mean. The ones that appear in every hostel, on every Contiki tour, on every gap year. These incredible people are all part of life’s rich travel tapestry, kudos to you, people of the world. Our stories wouldn’t be the same without you.
Here they are, in all their glory, the people you will absolutely meet while travelling. Hell, one (or three) of them might even be you.
- Tarquin, who brags about his gap year experiences, but is always Skyping mummy so he can get some extra cash.
- River, who hasn’t showered since he landed six weeks ago. He lives in a commune in California, and refuses to show you his passport because he actually coined his own name after a few months of going with the flow.
- Brian, who is definitely having a mid life crisis. He’s the noticeably older guy that hangs around telling long-winded stories about the life he left behind.
- Anna, the ‘flashpacker’, who thought a suitcase was a better option than a backpack, and then realised most places don’t have elevators. She’s moving hostels after tonight.
- Krystal and Kyal, the honeymooning couple that still like to let loose at the toga party each night.
- Ned, the army guy who is on a break and has way too much cash to burn. And at least one Southern Cross tattoo.
- Mallory, the girl that didn’t realise you’d be drinking so much, and would love to get some culture, if anyone’s interested.
- Timmy, the one that legitimately sleeps all day, then wakes up at 5pm on the dot to do his country proud before eventually passing out at 10am.
- Blaze, the white guy with dreads (whose actual name is Barnabus) who has a sweet trust fund hidden inside the Lonely Planet guide in his hessian sack.
- Lauren and Lisa. One of them got so drunk last night that she peed the bed. But they’re both saying it was the other.
- Amanda, the girl that actually requested all gluten free dining and is a little disappointed with the options, to be honest.
- Deano, Davo, and Duncan, who have been shredding for this Eurotrip for six months, and absolutely will not put their shirt on. Also, they really want to know where the nearest tattoo parlour is.
- Adam, whose piercing blue eyes see into your soul. And yes, he would love to bring out his guitar and play you his rendition of Wonderwall.
- Byron, who came for a visit six years ago and never left. You can see the pain in his eyes.
- Luke, who is doing the travel thing, but also has a girlfriend at home who he’s constantly fighting with on FaceTime.
- Alana, the one-upper, who needed extra pages in her passport and has been to waaaayy more off-the-grid destinations than you have.
- Jarrod, who woke up in the street this morning with his thongs down his shorts, and wants to know if anyone has seen his wallet.
- Amy, who really didn’t realise just how hot it would be (believe it, sweetheart). Or that no one would speak English. She can (and will) corner you to share all the gross deets on her various injuries.
- Jesse, who sleeps on the top bunk, and couldn’t give a flying fart if you heard him having a foursome with locals last night. And the night before.
- Patience, who has a friendship bracelet from each of the orphans she took selfies with at the orphanage she volunteered at.
- Geoff, who no one has actually heard speak. But he keeps is cash down his crotch and wears those pants that zip off into shorts.
Bitten by the travel bug? Check this out.
Image credit: Eurotrip